Third party in relationship

[ricky_tian]

there would never be a third party if the couple is strong in trust and love each other.
I never believe breakups are because of third party. In a relationship; there's only 2 party. Only 2 can play the game. If there's so called 3rd party influence; meaning to say the original 2 party is already at the verge of complications and someone had been unfaithful.
So, can never blame the third party!

Ya... That 's right... SOmetimes, there must b problem between a couples, or it won''t be breakup so easily...

 

[Tohsan]

what if the 3rd party interfering is your own parents?

 

[b00n]

errrr.....tough question...
haha...that's really a 3rd party!!
but considering we're adults, we should have to make our own decision. Lucky my parents are not like that.
To my father; it's your own life. What you want to do with it, it's your own will. Just don't come back one day and ask for money.
Quite modern minded.

 

[Tohsan]

at least ur parents is good, my parents different, u want to study or play, go find ur own money and spend,don't come back home and ask from them.

 

[Tohsan]

another question what if the 3rd party that is interfering is your whole family including your grand-parents?

 

[deedee]

totally agree with u boon... hehe... tohsan ah tohsan... who cares who the hell is interfearing who?/ that relationship is two of yrs... wat ppl say is jus an advice.. if u both are strong.. there will be no 3rd party...

 

[bobo]

haih... complicating life..

 

[simonchangwaimun]

well...like i said long long time ago...third party exist in many ways [ok i said THIS now,but the following is wat i said earlier]
guys who look for others,doesn't mean the r'ship is cracking...
i've known ppl who go and hv an affair for fun...while of coz,others hv affair coz they juz given up hope on their current r'ship...
but its true...3rd party is never the guilty party...they are actually there to spread happiness...for example...if a guy finds another gf [coz he gave up hope on the r'ship] then the problem seriously lies in his gf,not that "3rd party stole him from her"
likewise to guys
there are also times where couples cant satisfy either party on bed,and somehow somewhat,one of them [guy or gal] thot it'd be exciting to hv fun outside,juz to spice up his or her sex life...and finds out that the other guy/gal is a better fuck...

living together is indeed kinda like a trial period before getting marry...
but one thing i think u guys left out is...living together is not about getting to know each others' weaknesses,be it the guy pee all over the toilet seat or the gal actually never use feminine wash or those kinda things
i think u guys dun FULLY understand wat cohibitations are..which,from statistic,leads to almost 80% break ups in couple who cohibit...
i hereby declare "LIVING TOGETHER IS ABOUT LEARNING TO TOLERATE AND GIVE AND TAKE"
and surprising enuff...not many ppl can tolerate small small things...
somehow...upon marriage...couples automatically tolerate each other more compare to unmarried couples cohibiting...i dunno y...i'll find out...and i'll submit my report again in a month =)

 

[bobo]

satria: i work like u also.. tough life..

 

[astalavista_baby]

Love is a fair game. There is no such thing as not to go for a girl because she is taken. You probably wanna take a step back and ask yourself, is she the one for you. Is she really worth it? If your answers are no, then you probably should just step back and just leave her in peace. There is no point you going in and shake her off and only later to find out you don't like her.

If you think she is the one and she is worth it, then go ahead. Of course by that, I don't mean to say you should just go ahead an tell her and kiss her and all that stuff. You should be observing how she feels about the current relationship. Is she happy? I mean if she is not happy, you probably might wanna go for it since she probably is gonna dump the guy sooner or later.

I know it is easier said than done but if the BF is a great guy, I am sure nothing you do will work for her. If her BF is that great and she is deeply in love with him, love would have already blinded her from reality and it doesn't matter what you try, you can just save it. She ain't going no where. It is when she doesn't have that much feeling for her bf anymore that she starts seeking elsewhere. Of course you'd have to know what kinda girl she is. If she is the flower heart type, then she doesn't not apply in this context.

 

[kelvio]

wah 1 of the oldtimer has spoken hehehe

its true,grab the opportunity b4 other grab it first

 

[bobo]

wow.. very meaningful.. it really give a good advice here.

 

[astalavista_baby]

hehehee... aiya.. long time oredi din get myself involved in this kinda thing.. ahhaha.. so I figured I might as well just give it a shot.

Anyway, in love, everyone is being selfish. I mean, love itself is not selfish but people are being selfish. If you don't even wanna try to go for her, then forget it. You are selfless, so you let others grab her. If that is all it's about, then you can forget about her. It's just like animals. If the lion is there to grab the food and the cheetah fears the tiger and lets him take the food, then the cheetah is gonna die in no time.

My meaning is, be selfless when you have to but seize the opportunity when it comes. If she is happy with the other guy and she really loves him, and the guy loves her as well, this is probably where you might wanna swallow your feelings. However, if her bf is treating her badly, then there is no point holding back, I mean, would she be happy with her current BF even when you hold back? NO.

So you probably can voice it out to her in that case and let her decide. She can always move on to a better package if she finds you better. At least she knows someone out there cares for her.

I do not condone 3rd party person. I mean, I can understand how it feels when there is a 3rd party. I mean if our relationship has been good and a 3rd party comes and screw it up, then I'd be really upset. But if our relationship has been a sour one and a 3rd party comes along, I can only live to regret it and I can only change and hope she would stay with me than to go with the other guy. After all , our relationship has been sour all this while and I really have no reason to make her stay, do I?

My point here is, in a 3rd party relationship, it depends. Do it the right way and no one is to blame for that. Screw up a good relationship because you're selfish and want her for yourself, not caring about her feeling is just WRONG. If you wanna be fair to yourself, you can always wait till she ends her current relationship and then tell her but that probably leaves you at the disadvantage, then again, no harm just so to be safe not to offend anyone, including her. :)

 

[astalavista_baby]

satria bro,
Yea me too in general would stay away from third party relationship, if i can because i just find it too complicated but love is blind and sometimes we just fall for people we shouldn't. When we are in that situation, we can't say for sure we would steer away from all these hassles. Hahaha... Unfortunately, I cannot make it for dim sum with you guys. I just got back to my hometown a few days ago. I would like to, when I get back to KL that is. lol.

 

[simonchangwaimun]

very well said...
but i'm bond...james bond
i'm not interested in single gals
WAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAK

 

[Tohsan]

totally agree with u boon... hehe... tohsan ah tohsan... who cares who the hell is interfearing who?/ that relationship is two of yrs... wat ppl say is jus an advice.. if u both are strong.. there will be no 3rd party...

there's no easy way out, becos before married is 2 persons matters, after marrieds is 2 family matters! Your thinking is too naive!:regular_smile:

 

[simonchangwaimun]

tohsan ar...dun so straight fwd la...let her find out herself lo
i was like that too...i got to learn it the hard way

 

[deedee]

hehe i know i know.... thnx u guys 4 ur advise.... sorry if i've said stg wrong or done stg wrong...

 

[bobo]

satria: yeah.. can't remember when i actually have a long holi.. lol.. but at least now the workload is getting lesser ler.. hehehehe.. if not got no time to spam also..

 

[deedee]

too bad so sad... i put spagetti stripes and tubes at my last choice when i dress... just hate it when ham sap ppl look at me one kind and some jack ass touch me and say that they are sorry... only wear those when with my dad... or when my mood is good... or back in my dad's country..