Got problem with my girlfriend.. Need HELP...

[BlackHD]

u know the answer best. IF i were a girl whom you loved b4, i'd never turn back to you if i see this post and know it's you. your action for asking solution from others already show you can't make up your own decision, and choose your own life. sorry for being straight forward but that's the fact. you're a man and you'll be man of household, be strong.

 

[glozz]

BlackHD,

He who admits his/her weaknesses and seeks other opinions are always better than one who only has himself in making decisions.
When you admit your weakness and try to procure advise in order to make a decision on what to do, you have become better than you can ever hope to be on your own.

Do not put down the person who asks for advise; 'cause at least they're humble enough to do so, as long as they take the advise seriously and into consideration. Rather it is the person who does not ask for advise who should be chided. Like the saying goes, never be ashamed of asking for help, lest you become the proud fool who refused to consider anything else but his/her own opinion.

 

[BlackHD]

ya, true also, that's why he call it the Last Resort.

 

[szekeiemme]

goodluck man!

 

[rodneyk]

here the story... i have a girlfriend of 4 years.... and now shes breaking up with me... she said that WE have a BIG PROBLEM.. and that problem cant be resolved... so for ur info the BIG PROBLEM is.. for 4 years we have been arguing about stupid things... like why u dont call? why u ignore me...? why u talk like that..? why u talk like this.. and all those nonsense bullshit la.... and also when were are arguing.. things will easily heat up very fast... in the end we will talk like we are enemies... saying things that normally enemies will say to each other... BUT and i say BUT if we are happy.. we are the happiest couple in this world.... we can talk... we can understand each other.... and all those happy.. flowery.. i-love-u-u-love-me stuff la.... so let just say.. we have a love and hate relationship...



so i get back to the arguing issue... usually when we fight.. and always its gonna be a big one... in the end she will say things like "i dont want u anymore..." "so we are now finish.. no more me and u..." so i will say.. "dont la.. say things like that... small thing maa" and "come la.. we can talk this mess out" and i will pujuk her la after that... coz i'm scared of losing her... and also ive said to her dont ever said that kind of thing again la... coz we love each other and its not good for the relationship la.... so 4 years have passed by... and we just had a big argument 2 weeks back... and that time she said she had enough... and she gonna leave me for real... i've been trying to get back to her.. but all she can say is.. okay la.. but as a friend... FRIEND?? i said cmon la... don la like that... we can be okay... but she said.. "no... this is the end... and that’s it.. no more argument.. no more stupid fights" but still i disagree with her.... coz i dont want to lose her.. she's the love of my life... so for this two weeks... i've been thinking bout her more everyday...(not that i never do).. trying to solve this mess... and get back to her.... so i tried to call her.. have a discussion with her... be nice to her (not that i never nice to her) MORE!!... but the answer was the same.. FRIENDS... and she said that "dont give urself hope that we can be together"... coz she said it is hard to decide.... and maybe it will not gonna happen.... so i feel someone take out my heart and throw it in the 'tong sampah'... my heart ache... and now she ignoring me pulak.... she suddenly turn out to be this different person that doesnt care what i said or do to her.... and now she start seeing her new friends... enjoying herself.... being happy.. going out and clubbing with her new frens...(some member from her auto club forum not zth la... some car makers that have its own huge enthusiasts and its better to not mention the name...) like nothing had ever happen... while me here feel like the worlds is goin to end… and i'm telling u guys she is very different person now.. and sometimes i even feel that i'm talkin to someone else... and because of that now i feel that shes seeing someone else... coz it’s to easy for her to forget bout our relationship… damn easy… maybe it just my assumption la.. maybe she's not seeing anyone... but maybe she is... u will never know…



so now i'm askin u guys some advice about:-

1. what should i do to make her come back to me?

2. is it worth it.. after all that we've been through?

3. and how can i forget her and maybe can i treat her as a fren? coz it hurts me when i see her with someone else...



so to all u sifus2 who's major in love and relationship.. pls help me.. this is my last resort...

First of all sorry man to hear bout that
I myself experienced such a thing in the past and now I am already with someone else. Anyway my scenario was almost like yours but I was the one to break it off. LOL and eventually felt sad over it. hahahahahaa
But in relationships its more to understanding of both parties la. Nothing is perfect. Arguments like that is normal but do know the limit and do make sure she remembers the good more than the bad.
Most of the time girls tend to remember the bad and forget the good. Thats why when they wanna break they only think of the bad. :P

 

[lostdesigner]

u know the answer best. IF i were a girl whom you loved b4, i'd never turn back to you if i see this post and know it's you. your action for asking solution from others already show you can't make up your own decision, and choose your own life. sorry for being straight forward but that's the fact. you're a man and you'll be man of household, be strong.

bro.. dont say like that.... of course i'm strong.. if not i will be sitting in my room alone and feel bad about it all day.. and worst.. not capable of doing anything... but i'm still living my life the normal way.. it just that it would be better if shes here living it with me...

so if anyone have any problem with their gf.. u will suggest that we keep it inside and decide it on our own.. is it? then how if things get stuck and we cant things of other thing else... i've been there la brother.... but in the end things will not turn out the way u think it will... in the end u will feel more frustrated... thats worst... thats why i'm here.. asking all u guys opinion....

and for all the woman forumers who have the chance of reading my thread... do feel free to drop by and give some advice... sure need the female point of view too... thanks..

 

[rodneyk]

bro.. dont say like that.... of course i'm strong.. if not i will be sitting in my room alone and feel bad about it all day.. and worst.. not capable of doing anything... but i'm still living my life the normal way.. it just that it would be better if shes here living it with me...

so if anyone have any problem with their gf.. u will suggest that we keep it inside and decide it on our own.. is it? then how if things get stuck and we cant things of other thing else... i've been there la brother.... but in the end things will not turn out the way u think it will... in the end u will feel more frustrated... thats worst... thats why i'm here.. asking all u guys opinion....

and for all the woman forumers who have the chance of reading my thread... do feel free to drop by and give some advice... sure need the female point of view too... thanks..

after reading yours somehow it reminds me of mine
LOL
ahhaahhaahahahahaa

 

[kapitan]

Girl will always b girl...

When they are mad, they can do just anything... including chasing you with a parang..

 

[mu24]

hey bro, same situation like me hahaha, 4 years together broke up 9 months ago, but hey i'm telling you the first few months you will miss her like hell, u know what i did... go and enjoy my life to the fullest, yumcha, watch movie wif friends, talk to other girls on the phone as frens lah, just go on wif my life and dont think about her.... so after 9 months... i called her as a fren just to see how she is doing and hey i got her to confess tat she still likes me... so dude all i can say... patience if she comes back than come back lah... if she doesnt than its her lost.... she will lose the best guy of herl ife.

Peace dont worry so much lah

 

[rodneyk]

hey bro, same situation like me hahaha, 4 years together broke up 9 months ago, but hey i'm telling you the first few months you will miss her like hell, u know what i did... go and enjoy my life to the fullest, yumcha, watch movie wif friends, talk to other girls on the phone as frens lah, just go on wif my life and dont think about her.... so after 9 months... i called her as a fren just to see how she is doing and hey i got her to confess tat she still likes me... so dude all i can say... patience if she comes back than come back lah... if she doesnt than its her lost.... she will lose the best guy of herl ife.

Peace dont worry so much lah

LOL
mine after 2 years onli i could partially forget her
hahhahaa
till now not in talking terms with her cause she don't wanna talk to me
guess reminds her of the past
also 4 months after we broke she sudah on wif some other guy
i was with her for 3 years
but what too do
now also i sudah boh rasa dii but if i look back still hurts la
me now also got new gf dii la
hehehehee

 

[mu24]

LOL
mine after 2 years onli i could partially forget her
hahhahaa
till now not in talking terms with her cause she don't wanna talk to me
guess reminds her of the past
also 4 months after we broke she sudah on wif some other guy
i was with her for 3 years
but what too do
now also i sudah boh rasa dii but if i look back still hurts la
me now also got new gf dii la
hehehehee

aiyo treat it as a learning mistake lor dont have to feel hurt one ler.... if she doesnt wanna talk to you than dont talk lor... like i said think it as her lost lah, sometimes just sometimes gurls think they are always right one... aiya better not eleborate more later kena kao kao from the gurls here. Anyway treat ur current gf good ler haha... sooo Lost designer how issit going on?? any updates?

PS: go out wif ur frens and purposely let her see tat you are enjoying life without her... laugh loudly talk loudly fool around... wah i tell you they cannot tahan one haha sure call you up one day :D

 

[rodneyk]

aiyo treat it as a learning mistake lor dont have to feel hurt one ler.... if she doesnt wanna talk to you than dont talk lor... like i said think it as her lost lah, sometimes just sometimes gurls think they are always right one... aiya better not eleborate more later kena kao kao from the gurls here. Anyway treat ur current gf good ler haha... sooo Lost designer how issit going on?? any updates?

PS: go out wif ur frens and purposely let her see tat you are enjoying life without her... laugh loudly talk loudly fool around... wah i tell you they cannot tahan one haha sure call you up one day :D

yea lost designer go out wif frens enjoy moer
hehehehe
i also enjoying myself more now
:P
work is fun, taking part time course as well and car modding is fun too.
hehehhe

 

[slk850]

4 Years's relationships, is not easy for everyones.

Mayb both of you should think back wat to pull both of you togather, why you can go along with her for 4 years. So, you need to think how to prevents those small issues.....on communications....between both sides.

Mine also facing the same way b4.....so, i just start my changing myself 1st.....i start not to do the same things that she hate i did in the pass few years.
And it work !! Now we go along togather for 6 years already......:D:D

Good luck for u ya.....;)

 

[SnooPDoGGY]

is she good in bed???

hey I tell u what...
forget about her...
there's alotta fagina out there...
why want her back after she broke ur heart...
infact dont even give her second chance to comeback...
make her realizes that she made a big mistake by dumping u...
u know what... is not worth it to have a gal like that...
go out n find a faithful gal... n for sure u'll be satisfied...
unfaithful girl bye2... faithful girl cud possibly ended as ur wife...

GOOD LUCK IN SEARCHING BRO...

p/s: I think she's hooked by a player la... let them play... u just say bye2... so she cud learn from her mistake...

 

[SnooPDoGGY]

guyzzz,

dont give ur 100% love to a lady...
very hard to trust this new millenium ladies out there...
in a relationship... pls just give them 30-50% of yer love...
coz u know what... if something like this happen at least u have
something left inside u to rebounce...
if not what ppl say frust menonggeng la...

but in marriage... pls give the fullest 100% of u to ur wife n family...
marriage is different... somethin u oughtta take care of...

take care dude...

 

[rodneyk]

4 Years's relationships, is not easy for everyones.

Mayb both of you should think back wat to pull both of you togather, why you can go along with her for 4 years. So, you need to think how to prevents those small issues.....on communications....between both sides.

Mine also facing the same way b4.....so, i just start my changing myself 1st.....i start not to do the same things that she hate i did in the pass few years.
And it work !! Now we go along togather for 6 years already......:D:D

Good luck for u ya.....;)

but if she don't want also he cannot do anything ma
as in ermmm
it needs 2 person's willingness to be committed. If currently he insist but as what he said she refused then I feel the result would be the same. But if he is able to change her perception on it and willing to give her commitment again then Bravo! glad for ya bro
but just give her some space and do not push her. Trust me you'll regret it if you push her too much.

 

[rodneyk]

guyzzz,

dont give ur 100% love to a lady...
very hard to trust this new millenium ladies out there...
in a relationship... pls just give them 30-50% of yer love...
coz u know what... if something like this happen at least u have
something left inside u to rebounce...
if not what ppl say frust menonggeng la...

but in marriage... pls give the fullest 100% of u to ur wife n family...
marriage is different... somethin u oughtta take care of...

take care dude...

I feel la based on what you say la that
200% in a relationship is not good
(I experieced it)
but 50% in a relation is also not good
(I also experienced it)

hahahahaa
Try to maintain a 100% relationship which means do not neglect her but Do not pamper her too much and make your world evolve around her. A relationship is just an additional bonus for you towards your quality of life right now. Example, If you are having a stable career, wonderful social life then a gf if an additional bonus to your current wonderful great life( I want that life) lol and even if you have a gf, that does not mean you must destroy the way things are for you.

I am trying to draw a distinction between how 100% should be.
hehehee

 

[slk850]

but if she don't want also he cannot do anything ma
as in ermmm
it needs 2 person's willingness to be committed. If currently he insist but as what he said she refused then I feel the result would be the same. But if he is able to change her perception on it and willing to give her commitment again then Bravo! glad for ya bro
but just give her some space and do not push her. Trust me you'll regret it if you push her too much.

Atleast i give it a damn try 1st....for no regret in my life. :D

 

[rodneyk]

Atleast i give it a damn try 1st....for no regret in my life. :D

yea this one i agree
but he said he tried dii wor
nvm la let him decide
all i know i also tried
so no regrets
:P
i know my end result
LOL

 

[lostdesigner]

based on all of ur advice... i started to understand what women really needs... now i feel more peace at heart.. and now i'm starting understand her decision and i'm wiling to give her the space that she needs... coz all this while not knowing that i'm actually a selfish person... now i know.. if u love someone really bad.. u have to start doing it by yourself.. coz we are men.. and we have to control ourselves first.. then we can concetrate on someone else's life... for what i know is she still love me.. but she needs time to heal her wound... but i will not let her do it by herself... i will try to help as long as it will not pressure her... and maybe this way she can be okay alot more easier... this is what i learned this few days... from all u guys.. so thanx again.. come go yam char.. on me...