A joke a day keeps grumpy face away ^_^

A group of blondes in a college class were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing was just a mess.

A construction engineering student comes along, sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, and then gives the measurement to one of the blondes and walks away.

After the engineer had gone, one blonde turned to another and laughed. "Isn't that just like a dumb construction engineer? We're looking for the height and he gives us the length

:stupid::stupid::stupid:

---------- Post added at 02:23 AM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 02:02 AM ----------

The 10-husband virgin

A contractor married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, my first husband was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

My second husband was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

My third husband was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

My fourth husband was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

My fifth husband was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

My sixth husband was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

My seventh husband was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

My eight husband was a therapist: all he ever did was talk about it.

My ninth husband was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

My tenth husband was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a contractor. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
 
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

- I do physical labour
- I work at great depths
- I plunge head first into everything I do
- I do not get weekends off or public holidays
- I work in a damp environment
- I don't get paid overtime
- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
- I work in high temperatures
- My work exposes me to contagious diseases


Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

- You do not work 8 hours straight
- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
- You do not always follow the orders of the management team
- You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
- You do not take initiative
- You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
- You'll retire well before reaching 65
- You're unable to work double shifts
- You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work
- And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and >leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.



Sincerely,
The Management:biggrin:
 

Similar threads

Posts refresh every 5 minutes




Search

Online now

Enjoying Zerotohundred?

Log-in for an ad-less experience