The Paratrooper
A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers He went
though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher
and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an
airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the
news.
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the
sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men
got up and just walked out of the plane!"
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a
time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man
left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He
told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."
"So, did you jump?"
"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the
door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump
Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He
said to me, "Boy, are you gonna jump or not?"
I said, "No, sir. I'm too scared."
So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his pe*is out. I
swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball
bat!"
He said, "Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this
little baby up your a**."
"So, did you jump?" asked the father.
"Well, a little, at first."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
THE OLD FIGHTER PILOT.
He was a ragged looking old man who shuffled into the bar that
afternoon. Stinking of whiskey and cigarettes, his hands shook as he
took the "Piano Player Wanted" sign from the window and gave it to the
bartender. "I'd like to apply for the job," he said.
The bar-keep wasn't too sure about this doubtful looking old guy, but it
had been awhile since he had a player and business
was falling off. "What do you do?" he asked.
"I used to be a fighter pilot in the Navy," was the answer.
Now, really unsure, the barkeep decided to give him a try...he really
needed more business. "The piano is over there...give
it a go."
The old man staggered his way over to the piano and several patrons
snickered. But, by the time he was into the third bar of music, every
voice was silenced.
What followed was a rhapsody of sound and music unlike anyone had ever
heard in the bar before. When he finished, there wasn't a dry eye in the
place.
The bartender brought the old guy a beer and said, "That sounded
really, really good. What do you call that?"
"It's called Drop Your Panties, Baby, We're Gonna Rock Tonight," said
the old pilot as he took a long pull from the beer.
"I got another," ...and he began to play again. What followed was a
knee-slappin' hand-clappin' bit of ragtime that had the place jumping.
People were coming in from the streets to hear this guy play. After he
finished, the pilot acknowledged the applause and told the crowd that
the song was called "Big Boobs Make My Afterburner Dance."
He then excused himself as he lurched off to the men's room. After
thinking a bit, the bartender decided to hire the guy, no matter how bad
he looked, or what his songs were called. When the guy came out of the
men's room, the bartender went over to tell him he had the job, but
noticed that the pilot's fly was undone and his member was hanging out.
He said, "The job is yours but first I got to ask, do you know your fly
is undone and your dick is hanging out?"
"Know it?" the pilot replied, "Hell, I wrote it!!
A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers He went
though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher
and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an
airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the
news.
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the
sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men
got up and just walked out of the plane!"
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a
time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man
left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He
told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."
"So, did you jump?"
"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the
door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump
Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He
said to me, "Boy, are you gonna jump or not?"
I said, "No, sir. I'm too scared."
So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his pe*is out. I
swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball
bat!"
He said, "Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this
little baby up your a**."
"So, did you jump?" asked the father.
"Well, a little, at first."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
THE OLD FIGHTER PILOT.
He was a ragged looking old man who shuffled into the bar that
afternoon. Stinking of whiskey and cigarettes, his hands shook as he
took the "Piano Player Wanted" sign from the window and gave it to the
bartender. "I'd like to apply for the job," he said.
The bar-keep wasn't too sure about this doubtful looking old guy, but it
had been awhile since he had a player and business
was falling off. "What do you do?" he asked.
"I used to be a fighter pilot in the Navy," was the answer.
Now, really unsure, the barkeep decided to give him a try...he really
needed more business. "The piano is over there...give
it a go."
The old man staggered his way over to the piano and several patrons
snickered. But, by the time he was into the third bar of music, every
voice was silenced.
What followed was a rhapsody of sound and music unlike anyone had ever
heard in the bar before. When he finished, there wasn't a dry eye in the
place.
The bartender brought the old guy a beer and said, "That sounded
really, really good. What do you call that?"
"It's called Drop Your Panties, Baby, We're Gonna Rock Tonight," said
the old pilot as he took a long pull from the beer.
"I got another," ...and he began to play again. What followed was a
knee-slappin' hand-clappin' bit of ragtime that had the place jumping.
People were coming in from the streets to hear this guy play. After he
finished, the pilot acknowledged the applause and told the crowd that
the song was called "Big Boobs Make My Afterburner Dance."
He then excused himself as he lurched off to the men's room. After
thinking a bit, the bartender decided to hire the guy, no matter how bad
he looked, or what his songs were called. When the guy came out of the
men's room, the bartender went over to tell him he had the job, but
noticed that the pilot's fly was undone and his member was hanging out.
He said, "The job is yours but first I got to ask, do you know your fly
is undone and your dick is hanging out?"
"Know it?" the pilot replied, "Hell, I wrote it!!
