Diablo.... here we go......
“Yuppie,” means “Young Upcoming Urban Professional.” Now denotes a group of people, irrespective of age, politics, or class, who demonstrate the following characteristics.
1. If they ever worked a day in their life - they forgot all about it.
2. More interested in the quality of their chardonnay than the quality of their public schools.
3. Pore over the Sharper Image catalog and others like it as if it’s devotional reading. (Full disclosure: the Sharper Image catalog is on top of my toilet tank.)
4. Anyone who stopped drinking Merlot after seeing “Sideways.”
5. Take from the community but never give back. Yuppies think paying taxes fulfills their obligations as citizens. Most commonly seen in gentrified neighborhoods.
6. Over schedule their children’s lives and treat the little tykes as accessories or barometers of their own self worth.
7. Think money is the answer to everything.
8. Spiritual Masturbators. Pursue spirituality disconnected from any social responsibility. (Spiritual navel gazing while people are starving around you) They flock to gurus or new age con artists who recycle older traditions and tell them what they WANT to hear - not what they NEED to hear. If your spiritual guide, whatever his or her denomination, doesn’t say something every once in a while that pisses you off, – they’re only interested in your money!
9. Name branders. It has to be Grey Goose or Stella Artois. Now, I like that stuff too. But if all they have is Bud I can deal.
10. Treat people as if they’re disposable items. (Waiters, sex partners, colleagues, coat check girls, etc.)
11. Are only nice to people when they want something.
12. Never say “please” or “thank you.”
13. RUDE!
14. They always want the “big” wine glasses. Even for the cheap stuff. (Only waiters will understand that one.)
15. Expect the best table on Saturday night without a reservation.
16. Talk incessantly about money, what they have, and what they want.
17. Will sue, or threaten litigation, at the drop of a hat.
18. Know their stock portfolio better than their second wife or husband.
19. Their house is TOO clean.
20. Buy trendy books they never read.
21. Think NYC is the center of the known universe. It isn’t.
22. Assume anyone who didn’t finish college is stupid. (Hey, Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard!)
23. Think nice people are suckers.
24. Claim to be honest but cheat on their spouses, taxes, exams, and cynically take credit for other people’s ideas.
25. Know the price of everything and the value of nothing.