Men Strike Back!!!!!!!

[melody]

Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !


How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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**to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle the truth !!**

 

[driftkingII]

Nice stuff. Great info too

 

[imoloq]

Haha, sexist but funny.

 

[sakuraguy]

Another one from Melody ;)

 

[edde]

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

That's the 'service charge' we pay for.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Get married to her and you will be the one hanging round the Laudromat.:shocked:

 

[handsome_cow]

nice
melody - your becoming someone who gives us alot of nice stories to read :)
thanks!

 

[melody]

Glad u enjoy..
Watch out 4 MORE juicy meaningful stuff!!..:angel_smile:

 

[edde]

Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.

Wait till you see auntie wearing a tube walking in the morning market :omg_smile:
and give you the drop dead gorgeous look :ahhhhh:

 

[satria_95]

Wait till you see auntie wearing a tube walking in the morning market :omg_smile: and give you the drop dead gorgeous look :ahhhhh:

Shite! I'll grab the butcher knife and slaughter her and put her on the pork meat table.

 

[kk13]

haha, these are quite good

 

[satria_95]

How many women does it take to drive a car?
None. Because all the females of the world combined together are still not alert enough to put the fuel pump gun back in the fuel pump machine handle before driving off.

Why should women just drive small cars?
Because when it comes to handling machines, their brains are smaller than the size of just 1 piece of 1/4 inch screw.

Why should female's cars have cameras and LCD screens instead of mirrors?
Because females uses mirror to fix up their bloody face while driving instead of using it to look whether there are other drivers around.

Why should female do all the cooking?
Because it's a messy job and we guys already have the messy job of bringing the money home, so why should we be cooking? And shut up about you females who are also working because when we are about to propose to you females, you're always asking if we can support you.

Why is it that women take wwwwaaayyyyy longer time to wash cars than men?
Because they would remove any dirt on the car first with their make up remover, then wash the cars with soap, then use conditioner to "soften" the car so that it looks healthy, then use a hair dryer to blow dry the car, then apply toner on the car (thinking that it'll tone up the color of the car), then apply moisturizer (so that the car color won't dry up and peel), etc etc etc.

 

[sakuraguy]

Melody: I dont strike back, im straight :) ..

 

[melody]

Melody: I dont strike back, im straight :) ..

i know..
cos u strike 'in'..:tongwink:

 

[rorytate]

wahhahaha....backfired leh...

i like what you posted sis melody

 

[melody]

i like what you posted sis melody

Thnx..:angel_smile:

 

[satria_95]

How many men/man does it take to kill 100 rempits?
Just 1. He'll need to drive a trailer that's got enough fuel to be driven for 4 hours.

How many women/woman does it take to kill 100 rempits?
As many as you can find. Women are typically chickens who can only complain about rempits and be their victims, but dare not do anything even if they had unlimited ammo for a fast firing machine gun.