Jokes Archieve - Text Based

[melody]

Just For Laugh!!!

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[melody]

FunnY Error Messages

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[sakuraguy]

hahaha .. nice ones mel ..

 

[melody]

Marriage Life Before and After !!

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Before marriage.
Darling here.. darling there...
After marriage.
Baling here... baling there..
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Before marriage.
I die for you. . .
After marriage.
"You die, up to you. "
Lagi lama married.
You die I help you!
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Before marriage.
You go anywhere. . I follow you.
After marriage. .
You go anywhere. . up to you .
Lagi lama married.
You go anywhere better get lost!!
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Before wedding
you are my heart, you are my love"
After wedding
"you get on my nerves. "
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Before wedding
"you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella"
After wedding
"you are worse than godzila"
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Before wedding
Roses are red, violets are blue. Like it or not, I'm stuck with you
After wedding
Roses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you
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Before wedding
Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La
After wedding
You want to go, he says you wait-la
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Before wedding
She looks like Anita Sarawak
After wedding
Don't know whether katak or biawak

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[sakuraguy]

Agree .. its true .. :)

 

[melody]

yah..
very very true..

 

[melody]

Do your bank has this ATM??

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[sakuraguy]

hahaha ... nice ones .. wish we do have one in Malaysia .. near future

 

[melody]

let me propose 2 the respective banks..:tongwink:
hahaha..:shades_smile:

 

[infinity.melvin]

(Read fully)Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?

Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top

 

[melody]

There are at least EIGHT types of ORGASM of a WOMAN.


1. The Optimist - Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes......... .........

2. The Pessimist - Oh No, Oh No, Oh No.......... ......... .

3. The Confused - Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No.......... ..

4. The Traveler - Ahh, I'm coming, I'm coming...... .......

5. The Religious - Oh God, Oh God......... ......... .......

6. The Userer - Ahh, More, More, More........ ......... ....

7. The Murderer - Ahh, If you take it out, I'll kill you...

8. The Submariner - Mmm...OHHH.. .Deeper.. .Go DEEPER !!

http://img524.imageshack.us/img524/716/80by80melit5.gifel

 

[sakuraguy]

I think i shall need a silent woman ;) ..

 

[sakuraguy]

Mel .. use the siggy animation as ure avatar too ..

 

[melody]

Life before marriage is HOTLINK
" u can express ur self ".

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During honeymoon is TMTOUCH
" Always get in Touch ".

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After Honeymoon is MAXIS
" Wherever u go ur wife network follows".

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After one year Life is DIGI
" ur wife can change ur life ".

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After 10 years Life is CELCOM
" Subscriber is not reachable "?????????

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[melody]

haha........


(1) (Whatever)

Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever…
Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don't want la, eat steamboat later got pimples in my face.
Men: Alright, why not have Si Chuan cuisine.
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
Men: Hmm….. I suggest we have seafood.
Women: Seafood no good la, later I got diarrhea.
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Whatever…


(2) (Anything)

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything.
Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn't watch movie.
Women: Watching movie no good la, waste time only.
Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tire meh?
Men: Then find a café and have drink.
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep.
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything.


(3) (You decide)

Men: Then we just go home lo…
Women: You decide
Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you.
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don't want la.
Men: Ok , we will take Taxi.
Women: Not worth it la…. For such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk lo. Take a slow walk.
Women: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's have dinner first.
Women: Whatever….
Men: Eat What?
Women: Anything
(Look around…… no one here, gonna kill her…..)

 

[Daniel Lee]

Man,
I encounter with this whatever-anything girl situation many times before.
It always makes me wanna vomit blood everytime I encounter those situations.

 

[sakuraguy]

nice ..... mel is keeping everyone awake .. ;)

 

[K_Takuya]

'whatever anything gurl' make me have headache la.. they want guy to guess what they think inside their mind..

come on.. Merriam Webster dictionary is at least
(thousand of pages) x (at least 10 words per pages)=i don't know!!

:p

 

[melody]

You might like it. This is hilarious.....even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numeric, which is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans.

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what
he came up with.....

1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic
and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and
threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took
a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my
boss and told him I was 6 . He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work.
He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand. I am so nice
2 him but I don't know what he 1.

 

[melody]

21stC entury...
Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our boss - Brainless
Our Job - Thankless


Our Salary - Very less ..!!