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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4309987" data-attributes="member: 14320">A Waiter And A BlondeA waiter was working one night, when a beautiful Blonde was seatedin his section. He went over to take her order, and saw that she wascrying."What's wrong, miss? Are you ok?" he asked.Wiping tears from her eyes, she looked up at him and said, "Myboyfriend just dumped me, and today is my birthday. Nice gift, isn'tit?"The waiter talked with her a few moments, and was able to get her tostop crying. He kept a close eye on her, and when she had finishedher meal, he went into the kitchen, cut a large slice from the bestcake on the menu, and stuck a candle in it. He lit the candle, andbrought it to her table. She looked very happy, and he was glad. Hesaid, "Make a wish and blow!"She closed her eyes, and made her wish. Then she came up to thewaiter, got down on her knees, unzipped his pants, pulled out hiscock, and started sucking on it. He had no idea why she was doingthis, but she was really into it, sucking away, and playing with hisballs. He knew that he should stop her-they didn't even know eachothers names-but hey, when you've got a hot blonde sucking on yourcock, like you're really going to say, no don't suck it.He stood there, enjoying every moment, and when she made him cum, heexploded inside her mouth, and she swallowed every drop of his huge,hot load. She looked up at him with a smile, and said, "Did you likeit?"He said, "Yes, of course, you suck cock great... but I'm justwondering why you suddenly started sucking my cock??"She looked confused. "Well, I was just doing what you told me to."Now he's confused. "What I told you to?"Smiling, she says, "Don't tell me you forgot already... You said,'Make a wish and blow!'"__________In a second grade sex education class, Suzy asks "Teacher, can mymomma get pregnant?"The teacher asks, "How old is your mother?"Suzy says " Forty." T he teacher says, "Yes, Your mother could getpregnant."Suzy asks, "Can my big sister get pregnant?"The teacher asks, "How old is your sister?"Suzy answers "Nineteen."The teacher says "Oh my yes, your sister certainly could getpregnant."Suzy asks, "Can I get pregnant?"The teacher asks, "How old are you?"Suzy says, "I'm seven years old."The teacher says, "No, you can't get pregnant."Little Johnny gives her a poke and says "See, I told you we hadnothing to worry about." Blow Job Etiquette ( By a Woman )1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.2. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful.3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.4. Extension to rule #3- No I DON'T have to swallow.5. My ears are NOT handles.6. Extension to rule#5- do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get' it is NEVER OK to fart.8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" -get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just YOU can't have sex right now.9. Extension to #8- "Blue balls" might have worked on high school girls- if your that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".</blockquote>

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