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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3417308" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">The Smarter Sex:</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.</p><p>After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."</p><p>The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!"</p><p>The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."</p><p>Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle, and extends it back to the woman.</p><p>Politely, the woman refuses to accept the bottle.</p><p>The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"</p><p>The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..." </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Hanging By A Rope:</span></strong></p><p></p><p>There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. Ten were men and one woman. The rope was starting to fray so they all agreed that one person should let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die.</p><p>No one could decide who should go so finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save theirs, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving into men, and that after all, men were the superior sex and must be saved. When she finished speaking, all the men clapped.</p><p>Never under estimate the evil of a woman.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Single women don't fart......</p><p>Because they don't have assholes until they get married?</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">==</span></strong></p><p>Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men? </p><p>It changes their blood type. </p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">==</span></strong></p><p>How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix? </p><p>It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn't need it anyway. </p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">==</span></strong></p><p>What do men and pantyhose have in common? </p><p>They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch! </p><p><strong><span style="color: Red"> ==</span></strong></p><p>How does a man keep his youth? </p><p>By giving her money, furs and diamonds. </p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">==</span></strong> </p><p>What's the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men? ...</p><p>Wife saying she wants to talk to him. </p><p><span style="color: Red"><strong>==</strong></span></p><p>Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?...</p><p>A mental hospital</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3417308, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]The Smarter Sex:[/COLOR][/B] A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle, and extends it back to the woman. Politely, the woman refuses to accept the bottle. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..." [B][COLOR="Teal"]Hanging By A Rope:[/COLOR][/B] There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. Ten were men and one woman. The rope was starting to fray so they all agreed that one person should let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go so finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save theirs, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving into men, and that after all, men were the superior sex and must be saved. When she finished speaking, all the men clapped. Never under estimate the evil of a woman. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Single women don't fart...... Because they don't have assholes until they get married? [B][COLOR="Red"]==[/COLOR][/B] Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men? It changes their blood type. [B][COLOR="Red"]==[/COLOR][/B] How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix? It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn't need it anyway. [B][COLOR="Red"]==[/COLOR][/B] What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch! [B][COLOR="Red"] ==[/COLOR][/B] How does a man keep his youth? By giving her money, furs and diamonds. [B][COLOR="Red"]==[/COLOR][/B] What's the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men? ... Wife saying she wants to talk to him. [COLOR="Red"][B]==[/B][/COLOR] Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?... A mental hospital [/QUOTE]
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