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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064656966" data-attributes="member: 14320">Technical Support(Oh.... Some People Are Truly STUPID)Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, butit just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?Customer: Yeah.... Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in theCD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it'sstill on my desk... sorry....------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.Customer: Your left or my left?------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?Male customer: Hello... I can't print.Tech support: Would you click on "Start" for me and...Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates . ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of themonitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Customer: I have problems printing in red...Tech support: Do you have a color printer?Customer: Aaaah.................thank you.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in thesupermarket.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.Customer: OKTech support: Did the keyboard come with you?Customer: YesTech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is thereanother keyboard?Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tech support: Your password is the small letter a, as in apple, acapital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Customer: I can't get on the internet.Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?Customer: Five stars.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech support: What antivirus program do you use?Customer: Netscape.Tech support: That's not an antivirus program.Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saveron my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech support: How may I help you?Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do Iget the circle around it?----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a printer problem.Tech support: Are you running it under windows?Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a goodpoint. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is undera window, and his printer is working fine."--------------------------------------------------------------------------------And last but not least:Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys atthe same time. That brings up a task list in the middleof the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up theProgram Manager."Customer: I don't have a P.Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.Customer: What do you mean?Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!</blockquote>

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