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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063917243" data-attributes="member: 14320">The RobotTwo friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techo-geek."Hey, bud, how are ya?""I'm good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!""Well, I'm glad you like her. Believe it or not, she's a robot!"No way, how could that be?""Way! She's the latest model from Japan. Let me tell you how she works.If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze herright tit, she types a letter. And that's not all, she can have sex,too!""Holy shit! You're kidding, right?""No, she's something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her"So, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there with her fora while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming "Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp" Ooooooh!Aaaaaaah! Eeeeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!"The guy says, "Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencilsharpener!"=======A couple had not been married for long, when the husband came home oneday to find that his bride had disappeared. He got very worried andgathered up all his friends to search for his wife with no success. Twodays after his wife disappeared the man returned home to find her in thekitchen. He asked her what she had been up to and why she hadn’t beenhome for so long. She replied:”These four men kidnapped me and had wildsex with me for a week.” The husband answered: “But it’s only been twodays what do you mean a week?” She answered “I am just here to getsomething to fuck’n eat.”========A blonde decided to commit suicide. So, she thought being hit bya train would not be that bad. She lay with her legs spreadover the railway line. The next day in the paper it read:Train disappearedReward offered=======During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents, young Michaelcried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women.I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Don't try and stop me!"With that, he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed closebehind."Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me.""Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute,I'll go with you."A Man's BirthdayIt's this man's 33rd birthday. He gets a package at the Post Office and goes to collect it.At the counter the woman brings his package to him, and the man says, "It's my birthday today.""Oh, happy birthday, how old are you?," asks the Post Office worker."33," says the man. "Well, have a good day," says the worker."Thank you," replied the man. To get home, the man has to take the bus. At the bus stop an old lady walks up and waits soon after he arrives. The man says to the old lady,"It's my birthday today.""Oh, happy birthday," says the old lady."I'm..." "No don't tell me," interjects the old lady, "I know a unique way of telling how old somebody is.""Oh yeah? What's that then," asks the man."If I can feel your balls for about 5 minutes, I can tell exactly how many years old you are," says the old lady."I don't believe it.""Well let me prove it!""I'm not going to let you feel my balls!," says the man."Oh well, I guess you'll never know then," replies the lady.After a couple of minutes curiosity gets the better of the man and he says, "Oh, okay then, you can do it."After a good feel of the man's balls the woman finally takes her hands out of his pants. "You are 33 years old exactly," she exclaims!"How the fuck did you know that?!," exclaims the man, impressed."I was behind you in the line at the Post Office," said the lady.It is two o'clock in the morning and a husband and his wife are asleep when suddenly the phone rings. The husband picks up the phone and before he can say anything, some talking came from the other end of the line and the husband says "How the heck do I know - what am I, the weather man?" and promptly slams the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?" The husband replies, "I don't know, it was some bloke who wanted to know if the coast was clear."Three people walked by a strip bar they walked in, the first guy licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on one side of her butt. The next guy also, licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the other side of her butt. The third guy walks in takes out a credit card swipes it through her butt and takes the 200 dollars.</blockquote>

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