Menu
Home
Post Something
Forums
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
News & Features
The Marketplace
Cars for Sale
Engine and Performance
Chassis and Wheels
Exterior and Body
Interior and Cockpit
ICE - In Car Entertainment
Car Shops and Services
Toys and Wares
All Other Stuff
Jobs and Vacancies
Looking For
Members
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Reply to thread
See what others are reading now! Try Forums >
Current Activity
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
Jokes Archieve - Text Based
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Message
<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 2750492" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Sir Alex Ferguson is sitting at home watching TV one morning when he receives a phone call</p><p>-Hello boss, it's David Beckham</p><p>-Yes David what can I do for you?</p><p>-Well boss, Posh has gone out and bought me a jigsaw to do. The problem is though none of the pieces fit together, it's impossible</p><p>-What's it supposed to be?</p><p>-The picture on the box is of a chicken, but like i said it's impossible, it's really doing my head in now, if i don't get it finished by Saturday I don't think I'll be able to concentrate on the game...</p><p>Ferguson starts to panic now.</p><p>-I'll tell you what David bring it round here and we'll both have a go</p><p>-Cheers boss, that's brilliant</p><p></p><p>About half an hour later Beckham turns up at Ferguson's house with his jigsaw under his arm. He knocks on the door and Ferguson lets him in. They walk into the kitchen, and Beckham tips the pieces onto the table. Ferguson looks down at the table and then at Beckham. -</p><p>-David, put the @#&$! Corn Flakes back in the box!</p><p></p><p>******************</p><p>Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.</p><p></p><p>One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'</p><p></p><p>The woman shakes her head no.</p><p></p><p>Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'</p><p></p><p>The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.</p><p></p><p>The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.</p><p></p><p>His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick</p><p>Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 2750492, member: 14320"] Sir Alex Ferguson is sitting at home watching TV one morning when he receives a phone call -Hello boss, it's David Beckham -Yes David what can I do for you? -Well boss, Posh has gone out and bought me a jigsaw to do. The problem is though none of the pieces fit together, it's impossible -What's it supposed to be? -The picture on the box is of a chicken, but like i said it's impossible, it's really doing my head in now, if i don't get it finished by Saturday I don't think I'll be able to concentrate on the game... Ferguson starts to panic now. -I'll tell you what David bring it round here and we'll both have a go -Cheers boss, that's brilliant About half an hour later Beckham turns up at Ferguson's house with his jigsaw under his arm. He knocks on the door and Ferguson lets him in. They walk into the kitchen, and Beckham tips the pieces onto the table. Ferguson looks down at the table and then at Beckham. - -David, put the @#&$! Corn Flakes back in the box! ****************** Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!' [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
The Marketplace Latest
Proton Preve R3 body kit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Perodua Ativa gear up body kit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F10 Mperformance front skirt lip
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Honda Civic FC fk7si front bumper set
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
brake caliper spray
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3 bodykit/diffuser set
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Perodua Axia Rahmah bodykit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Nissan Almera Tomei body kit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
original rare Black Racing Pro N1 16x6.5jj offset...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
original rare Rays Volk Racing TE37SL Black Edition...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
Posts refresh every 5 minutes
Review: Volvo S60 T6 | 306hp / 400Nm Sleeper Sedan
Consider this, a front wheel driven Volvo with 306hp, 400Nm. Who knew, that a Swedish marque...
Mitsubishi L200 Turbo
Thinking to add up some boost to my L200. Anyone know what is the max this engine can stand?? :_:
Anyway,its a diesel turbo:confused_smile:
Which Standalone?
Currently Driving stock mivec 1st gen...
Im looking towards a standalone management for my car...
1:Which standalone ECU suitable for my car(in terms of cheap)
2: How much for installation + tuning
3: Where to get...
Recent Posts
Darker Design : Mercedes-Benz Launches GLA Nightfall Edition in Malaysia
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Honda Malaysia Doubles Down on Hybrids: New CR-V Launches with Dual e:HEV...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
BateriHub Reaches 200-Store Milestone, Becomes Malaysia’s Largest...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Been stalking for 3 years edy
Started by
dheepadarshan95
Introduction and Newbies
Recommendation: Turbocharger for 4B11 N.A engine
Started by
Mitevo7
Car Modification
Search
Online now
Enjoying Zerotohundred?
Log-in
for an ad-less experience
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
Jokes Archieve - Text Based