Jokes ... Any JOKES ...
- Thread starter eyong
- Start date
- Replies 33
- Views 3K
-
See what others are reading now! Try Forums > Current Activity
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2006
- Messages
- 4,078
- Points
- 1,648
You wouldn't believe how many of them are over the obesity limits ... Does not matter if they are teenagers, young adults, mid-life etc ... :hmmmm::stupid:
And that's how the fight started ...
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing a gale, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's how the fight started ...
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing a gale, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's how the fight started ...
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2006
- Messages
- 4,078
- Points
- 1,648
Do you know the reason why Singapore government restricts the citizens not to chew gum? Here is the story....
One day Lee Kwan Yew went to Thailand and had lobster at the dinner with the Thai King. After Lee finished, he asked the King.
Lee : Your Highness, what can you do with this lobster skin?
King : We cannot do anything with it, we just throw away.
Lee : Oh, no. In our country, we send it to the factory and
produce some prawn cracker.
Then Lee had an orange. After he finished, he asked the King.
Lee : What can you do with the orange skin?
King : We cannot do anything. We just throw away.
Lee : Oh, no. In Singapore, we send it to the factory and produce some orange jam.
Then Lee asked for some chewing gum. After he finished, he put on the plate and asked the King.
Lee : What can you do with the chewing gum?
King : Oh, no. We just throw it away.
Lee : In Singapore, we send it to the factory and produce condoms send
it to Thailand.
Lee said good-bye to the King and the King asked Lee.
King : What can you do with the condom when you finish using it?
Lee : We cannot do anything. We throw it away.
King : In Thailand when we finish using the condom, we send it to the factory to produce chewing gum and send it back to
Singapore!!!
!@$%&*Singaporeans are Kiasu People*&%$@!
One day Lee Kwan Yew went to Thailand and had lobster at the dinner with the Thai King. After Lee finished, he asked the King.
Lee : Your Highness, what can you do with this lobster skin?
King : We cannot do anything with it, we just throw away.
Lee : Oh, no. In our country, we send it to the factory and
produce some prawn cracker.
Then Lee had an orange. After he finished, he asked the King.
Lee : What can you do with the orange skin?
King : We cannot do anything. We just throw away.
Lee : Oh, no. In Singapore, we send it to the factory and produce some orange jam.
Then Lee asked for some chewing gum. After he finished, he put on the plate and asked the King.
Lee : What can you do with the chewing gum?
King : Oh, no. We just throw it away.
Lee : In Singapore, we send it to the factory and produce condoms send
it to Thailand.
Lee said good-bye to the King and the King asked Lee.
King : What can you do with the condom when you finish using it?
Lee : We cannot do anything. We throw it away.
King : In Thailand when we finish using the condom, we send it to the factory to produce chewing gum and send it back to
Singapore!!!
!@$%&*Singaporeans are Kiasu People*&%$@!
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2007
- Messages
- 1,375
- Points
- 1,663
ah beng ah.....
> > Ah Beng was walking along his work area one day and saw his friend Ah Mute
> > Ah Mute can't speak so he needs to use sign language to communicate.
> > Ah Mute signal why Ah Beng isn't at work.
> >
> > Ah Beng than look around and gathered some leaves under the tree and stand on them.
> > He look at Ah Mute and pointed down at the leaves.
> >
> > Ah Mute is now confused...
> >
> >Later, Ah Sian pass by and saw Ah Beng standing on the leaves.
> > Ah Mute than signal Ah Sian on what is Ah Beng trying to say...
> >
> > Ah Sian than type down in his handphone and show it to Ah Mute.
> >
> > "Aiyo so simple, Ah Beng Is On Leave!"
> > Ah Beng was walking along his work area one day and saw his friend Ah Mute
> > Ah Mute can't speak so he needs to use sign language to communicate.
> > Ah Mute signal why Ah Beng isn't at work.
> >
> > Ah Beng than look around and gathered some leaves under the tree and stand on them.
> > He look at Ah Mute and pointed down at the leaves.
> >
> > Ah Mute is now confused...
> >
> >Later, Ah Sian pass by and saw Ah Beng standing on the leaves.
> > Ah Mute than signal Ah Sian on what is Ah Beng trying to say...
> >
> > Ah Sian than type down in his handphone and show it to Ah Mute.
> >
> > "Aiyo so simple, Ah Beng Is On Leave!"
Lee Kwan Yew: kena pwnd..
Nex time i use on leave too lor, say atas daun...
Nex time i use on leave too lor, say atas daun...
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2006
- Messages
- 4,078
- Points
- 1,648
SORRY WRONG NUMBER
'Hello?'
'Hi, honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'
'No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
***Brief Pause***
Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.'
***Brief Pause.***
'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'
'Okay Daddy, just a minute.'
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
'I did it Daddy'
And what happened honey?'
'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and
ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
and now she isn't moving at all!'
'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'
'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared
and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it.
He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, 'Swimming pool ?? We dont have a swimming pool !!
Ah, is this 486-5731 ??'
No, this is 486-5713.... .
' SORRY WRONG NUMBER !'...
'Hello?'
'Hi, honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'
'No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
***Brief Pause***
Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.'
***Brief Pause.***
'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'
'Okay Daddy, just a minute.'
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
'I did it Daddy'
And what happened honey?'
'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and
ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
and now she isn't moving at all!'
'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'
'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared
and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it.
He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, 'Swimming pool ?? We dont have a swimming pool !!
Ah, is this 486-5731 ??'
No, this is 486-5713.... .
' SORRY WRONG NUMBER !'...
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2006
- Messages
- 4,078
- Points
- 1,648
A 5-Minute Management Course.
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,
when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,
'Who was that?'
'It was Bob, the next-door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great!' the husband says. 'Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk
with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized, 'Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for
advancement will pass right by you.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when
they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas ,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered, 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,
' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
'They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung,
he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell
to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and shit on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy,
and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound,
the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THIS CONCLUDES THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,
when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,
'Who was that?'
'It was Bob, the next-door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great!' the husband says. 'Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk
with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized, 'Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for
advancement will pass right by you.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when
they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas ,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered, 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,
' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
'They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung,
he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell
to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and shit on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy,
and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound,
the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THIS CONCLUDES THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2006
- Messages
- 4,078
- Points
- 1,648
Jokes Noto To Be Missed
Failure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you...
It's only when u leave her a virgin.
Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!
The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of Sperm when mating.
Only 10% enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted Salty?!
Why is it that a girl looks down when u say I love u?
To see if u really mean it!
Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today,
tomorrow u have to do it again.
Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex .
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years.
The stock markets now are like an old man's dick?
Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting fucked!
This week is Breast Awareness Week.
Spread the slogan: We stare because we care!
The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls.
The Lord Almighty sentenced them to: Hang Till Death !
A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in.
He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.
What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.
If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get?
Tit-Bits.
And if it bursts in a man's underwear?
Banana split.
What's the diff between a bomb n a condom?
In a bomb blast population decreases & if a condom blasts population increases.
Failure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you...
It's only when u leave her a virgin.
Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!
The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of Sperm when mating.
Only 10% enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted Salty?!
Why is it that a girl looks down when u say I love u?
To see if u really mean it!
Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today,
tomorrow u have to do it again.
Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex .
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years.
The stock markets now are like an old man's dick?
Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting fucked!
This week is Breast Awareness Week.
Spread the slogan: We stare because we care!
The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls.
The Lord Almighty sentenced them to: Hang Till Death !
A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in.
He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.
What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.
If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get?
Tit-Bits.
And if it bursts in a man's underwear?
Banana split.
What's the diff between a bomb n a condom?
In a bomb blast population decreases & if a condom blasts population increases.
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2007
- Messages
- 1,375
- Points
- 1,663
" A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students.
As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to
Introduce themselves with name and hobby.
She said, " Let's start with the boys first."
Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting.
Well, Ok. In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all
there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next."
Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting
a friend. Ok next. "
Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next."
This continues...
and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the
Bathtub. "
Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach
un-grown boys for long.
Anyway, now the girls please. "
First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."
Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."
Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."
Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl;
Yes you... "
Most beautiful girl of the class:
"Madam, my name is 'Bubble', and my hobby is to take bath three times a
day."
Teacher Fainted!!! "
Bump: Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
------------ --------- --------- -
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'
------------ --------- --------- -
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -----
Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
------------ --------- ---------
Son: ' Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
____________ _________ _________ __
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- ---------
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
------------ --------- --------- -
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'
As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to
Introduce themselves with name and hobby.
She said, " Let's start with the boys first."
Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting.
Well, Ok. In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all
there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next."
Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting
a friend. Ok next. "
Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next."
This continues...
and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the
Bathtub. "
Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach
un-grown boys for long.
Anyway, now the girls please. "
First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."
Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."
Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."
Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl;
Yes you... "
Most beautiful girl of the class:
"Madam, my name is 'Bubble', and my hobby is to take bath three times a
day."
Teacher Fainted!!! "
Bump: Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
------------ --------- --------- -
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'
------------ --------- --------- -
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -----
Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
------------ --------- ---------
Son: ' Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
____________ _________ _________ __
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- ---------
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
------------ --------- --------- -
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2007
- Messages
- 1,375
- Points
- 1,663
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
Similar threads
The Marketplace Latest
-
Honda CITY 1.5 E (A)
- Started by PIstonHeads
- Cars for sale
Posts refresh every 5 minutes
Dear Member2 Sekalian
,
Thinking of doing a TT at Seremban, so that we can do a small visit to our dearest member there. Mean time, member from Melacca maybe can tour up to gather as well
. Because it...
,Thinking of doing a TT at Seremban, so that we can do a small visit to our dearest member there. Mean time, member from Melacca maybe can tour up to gather as well
. Because it...Recent Posts
Search
Enjoying Zerotohundred?
Log-in for an ad-less experience