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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4405503" data-attributes="member: 14320"> Hilarious ShortiesThe nervous young bride became irritated by her husband'slusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded himseverely. "I demand proper manners in bed," she declared,"just as I do at the dinner table."Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed hisrumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. "Is thatbetter?" he asked, with a hint of a smile."Yes," replied the girl, "much better.""Very well, my darling," the husband whispered. "Now wouldyou be so kind as to please pass the cunt? __________An old man looking for oral sex approached his wifewith a horny invitation, "How would you like to wrap yourteeth around my dick tonight?"The old lady nodded willingly, removed her denturesand said, "Do whatever you want with them, just don'twake me." __________Q: What is the definition of Gross?A1: When you're sitting on you grandfather's lap he pops a boner.A2: Your little brother has lost his scab collection and you'reeating his corn flakes.Q: What is the definition of "gross"?A: When you ask your grandmother what's for dinner andshe sits on your face and says tuna.Q: What's grosser than that?A: When you reply saying, I thought I said hold the mayo!__________ SEXUAL DAFFYNITIONS:Seersucker ... A person who blows clairvoyants.Trampoline ... A sexual lubricant popular with sluts.Douche ... A female duke.Nymphomaniac ... A man's term for a woman whowants to have sex more often than he does. __________A Redneck is hunting in Arkansas and shoots and kills adeer. Upon closer examination he realizes that it was a cow. Going up to the nearest farmhouse, he explains the mistakehe has made to the farmer."My God!" the farmer says, "You done kilt my favoriteheifer.She had a pussy just like a woman's!""Don't worry," the Redneck says, "I'll give you my wife. She has a pussy like a cow's."</blockquote>

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