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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4099101" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Five Short Stories For Men, By Men</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>ONE</strong></p><p>I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy</p><p>crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Mourning?."</p><p>He said, "No, just taking a shit."</p><p></p><p><strong>TWO</strong></p><p>When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I</p><p>realized that God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked</p><p>Him to forgive me.</p><p></p><p><strong>THREE</strong></p><p>My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting,</p><p>"Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She looked at me and</p><p>yelled, "You did this to me, you bastard!" I casually replied, "If</p><p>you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, 'That</p><p>would hurt too much'."</p><p></p><p><strong>FOUR</strong></p><p>I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual</p><p>checkup.. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why</p><p>and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."</p><p></p><p><strong>FIVE</strong></p><p>My girlfriend and I were making love when she looked up at me and</p><p>said, "Make love to me like in the movies." So I turned her over on</p><p>all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over</p><p>and came all over her face and hair. I never saw her again after</p><p>that night. I guess we don't watch the same movies.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">---------</span></strong></p><p></p><p>I once had a ladyfriend, Rose,</p><p>Double-jointed she was I suppose.</p><p>And I watched fascinated,</p><p>As Rose masturbated;</p><p>Herself with the tip of her nose.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">--------</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably long penis.</p><p></p><p>He called in his receptionist to show her.</p><p></p><p>She took one look and said, "It's just like my husband's penis."</p><p></p><p>"Wow, you mean he's got one that long?" the mortician asked.</p><p></p><p>"No," she replied. "That dead."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4099101, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Five Short Stories For Men, By Men[/COLOR] ONE[/B] I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Mourning?." He said, "No, just taking a shit." [B]TWO[/B] When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked Him to forgive me. [B]THREE[/B] My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She looked at me and yelled, "You did this to me, you bastard!" I casually replied, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, 'That would hurt too much'." [B]FOUR[/B] I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup.. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you." [B]FIVE[/B] My girlfriend and I were making love when she looked up at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies." So I turned her over on all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over and came all over her face and hair. I never saw her again after that night. I guess we don't watch the same movies. [B][COLOR="Red"]---------[/COLOR][/B] I once had a ladyfriend, Rose, Double-jointed she was I suppose. And I watched fascinated, As Rose masturbated; Herself with the tip of her nose. [B][COLOR="Red"]--------[/COLOR][/B] A mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably long penis. He called in his receptionist to show her. She took one look and said, "It's just like my husband's penis." "Wow, you mean he's got one that long?" the mortician asked. "No," she replied. "That dead." [/QUOTE]
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