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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4099101" data-attributes="member: 14320">Five Short Stories For Men, By MenONEI was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guycrouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Mourning?."He said, "No, just taking a shit."TWOWhen I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then Irealized that God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and askedHim to forgive me.THREEMy girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting,"Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She looked at me andyelled, "You did this to me, you bastard!" I casually replied, "Ifyou remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, 'Thatwould hurt too much'."FOURI went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annualcheckup.. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked whyand she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."FIVEMy girlfriend and I were making love when she looked up at me andsaid, "Make love to me like in the movies." So I turned her over onall fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back overand came all over her face and hair. I never saw her again afterthat night. I guess we don't watch the same movies.---------I once had a ladyfriend, Rose,Double-jointed she was I suppose.And I watched fascinated,As Rose masturbated;Herself with the tip of her nose.--------A mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably long penis.He called in his receptionist to show her.She took one look and said, "It's just like my husband's penis.""Wow, you mean he's got one that long?" the mortician asked."No," she replied. "That dead."</blockquote>

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