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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3968212" data-attributes="member: 14320">Poor JohnSam and John were out cutting wood, and John cut his arm off. Sam wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and took it and John to a surgeon. The surgeon said, "You're in luck! I'm an expert at reattaching limbs! Come back in four hours." So Sam came back in four hours and the surgeon said, "I got done faster than I expected to. John is down at the local pub." Sam went to the pub and saw John throwing darts.A few weeks later, Sam and John were out again, and John cut his leg off. Sam put the leg in a plastic bag and took it and John back to the surgeon. The surgeon said, "Legs are a little tougher - come back in six hours." Sam returned in six hours and the surgeon said, "I finished early - John's down at the soccer field." Sam went to the soccer field and there was John, kicking goals.A few weeks later, John had a terrible accident and cut his head off. Sam put the head in a plastic bag and took it and the rest of John to the surgeon. The surgeon said, "Gee, heads are really tough. Come back in twelve hours." So Sam returned in twelve hours and the surgeon said, "I'm sorry, John died." Sam said, "I understand - heads are tough." The surgeon said, "Oh, no! The surgery went fine! John suffocated in that plastic bag!"'''''A sixteen year old virgin girl goes to confession."Father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday.""Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch??" the priest asked."Because, father, he touched me on my arm without permission""Do you mean like this??" He touches her arm."Yes father.""That's no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch.""But father he also touched my breasts.""You mean like this??" He touches her breasts."Yes father.""That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.""But father, he took off my clothes.""Like this??" He takes off her clothes."Yes father.""That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.""But father he then put his you-know-what in my you-know-where.""Like this??" He put his you-know-what in her you-know-where."Yes father," she says sometime later."But that's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.""But father, he has AIDS.""THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!"</blockquote>

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