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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3744628" data-attributes="member: 14320">Debbie went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck insideof her."To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have toperform a very long and delicate operation.""I don't think I can afford that" said Debbie. "Could you just replacethe batteries?"o0o0o0o0o0He: I'm tired, I'm drunk, and I'm horny. What do you say?She: Get some sleep, get sober, and get a grip.o0o0o0o0o0Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?A. Childbirth.Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?A. 'Cause you're fatter than they are.Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she'sborderline irrational.A. So what's your question?Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recoveringfrom childbirth?A. Yes, pregnancy.Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?A. In your breasts.Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?A. Yes, baby lips.Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?A. When you see teeth marks.Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin tofeel and act normal again?A. When the kids are in college.o0o0o0o0o0A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter...Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him. "Irving, you know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!""Irving, remember that new car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!""Irving, that emerald necklace you promised me? I bought it, too, with the insurance money."Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes.</blockquote>

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