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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3447349" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong>Aussie Slang</strong></p><p><strong><em>This Is Long but Very Funny</em></strong></p><p><strong><u></u></strong></p><p><strong><u>I'm Hungry:</u></strong></p><p></p><p>"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."</p><p>"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."</p><p>"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."</p><p>"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll through a cane chair."</p><p>"So hungry I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck."</p><p></p><p><strong><u>I'm Thirsty:</u></strong></p><p></p><p>"I'm dry as a dead dingo's donger."</p><p>"I'm drier than a nuns nasty."</p><p>"I'm dry as a f**k with no foreplay."</p><p>"I'm as dry as a pommie's bath mat."</p><p>"I'm as dry as a bulls bum going up a hill backwards."</p><p>"I'm drier than an Arab's fart."</p><p><strong><u></u></strong></p><p><strong><u>I Need To Go For a Pee:</u></strong></p><p></p><p>"Gonna drain me dragon."</p><p>"My back teeth are floating."</p><p>"Need to syphon the python."</p><p>"Takin' the kids to the pool."</p><p>"I got to take a snakes hiss."</p><p>"Gotta go have a slash."</p><p>"Gonna go water a horse."</p><p>"I'm off to drain the main vein."</p><p>"Time to splatter the bladder."</p><p>"I'm dying for a piss ! so bad I can taste it."</p><p>"Shake hands with the wife's best friend."</p><p></p><p><strong><u>I need To Do a Poo:</u></strong></p><p></p><p>"I gotta go give birth to a Kiwi."</p><p>"I'm takin' a stroll to the gravy bowl."</p><p>"It was like giving birth to Kim Beasly."</p><p>"Off to the bog to leave an offering."</p><p>"Time to snap off a grogan."</p><p>"Have to hang a brown bear in the porcelain cave."</p><p>"I'm gonna strangle a brownie."</p><p>"There's a brown dog barking at the back door."</p><p>"I'm going to give birth to your twin."</p><p>"Need to choke a brown dog."</p><p>"I've freed Nelson Mandela."</p><p>"Going for a Rodney."</p><p>"Taking out the garbage."</p><p>"I gotta back one out."</p><p>"Release the Chocolate hostage"</p><p>"i gotta lay some cables for telstra"</p><p></p><p><strong><u>Vomit:</u></strong></p><p></p><p>"Calling for George."</p><p>"I was driving the porcelain bus this morning."</p><p>"I left him a lawn pizza."</p><p>"Toss a tiger on the carpet."</p><p>"Gotta go Ralph"</p><p></p><p><strong><u>Insults:</u></strong></p><p></p><p>"I hope your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders."</p><p>"Not enough brains to giv! e 'imself a headache!"</p><p>"About as useful as tits on a bull."</p><p>"You must be the world's only living brain donor."</p><p>"He's a few wanks short of an orgasm."</p><p>"She had more pricks than a second hand dartboard."</p><p>"He had a head on him like a sucked mango.."</p><p>"May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down."</p><p>"He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock."</p><p>"So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him 'til the bell rang!"</p><p>"Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery."</p><p>"Pull your lip over your head and swallow!"</p><p>"As ugly as a hat full of arseholes."</p><p>"If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave it's arse and make it walk backwards."</p><p>"Got a face like a bashed in shit can."</p><p>"Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground."</p><p>"Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse."</p><p>"Couldn't organise a f**k in a brothel with a fist full of fifties."</p><p>"About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking competition."</p><p>"I'll kick your! bum till your nose bleeds!"</p><p>"A stubbie short of a six pack."</p><p>"Seen better heads in a piss trough."</p><p>"You're as handy as shit on a stick."</p><p>"Tighter than a fish's arse."</p><p>"So tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit him."</p><p>"Face like a smashed crab."</p><p>"As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp."</p><p>"He could talk a dog off a meatwagon."</p><p>"F**ked in the head."</p><p>"You've got a head like a half-eaten pastie."</p><p>"He wouldn't go two rounds with a revolving door."</p><p>"Mate, she's as rough as a pigs breakfast."</p><p>"Your face is like a twisted ugg boot."</p><p>"He's got a face like a cat licking shit off a thistle."</p><p>"She's been hit with the ugly stick too many times."</p><p>"She's two pick handles wide."</p><p>"An arse like two pigs fighting in a sugar bag."</p><p>"As ugly as a bag of spanners."</p><p>"You've got a head like a dropped pie."</p><p>"He thinks his shit don't stink, but his farts give him away."</p><p>"I wish his dad had settled for a blow job."</p><p>"Fell out of the ugly ! tree, and hit every branch on the way down."</p><p>"Your the load your mother should have swallowed"</p><p>"If I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it."</p><p>"Wouldn't know if someone was up him sideways with an armful of deck chairs."</p><p>"As thick as two short planks!"</p><p>"you got a head like a busted watermelon"</p><p></p><p><strong><u>Compliments</u></strong>:</p><p></p><p>"Ya bloods worth bottling!"</p><p>"He's True Blue."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3447349, member: 14320"] [B]Aussie Slang [I]This Is Long but Very Funny[/I] [U] I'm Hungry:[/U][/B] "I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies." "I could eat the horse and chase the jockey." "So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread." "I could eat the arse out of a rag doll through a cane chair." "So hungry I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck." [B][U]I'm Thirsty:[/U][/B] "I'm dry as a dead dingo's donger." "I'm drier than a nuns nasty." "I'm dry as a f**k with no foreplay." "I'm as dry as a pommie's bath mat." "I'm as dry as a bulls bum going up a hill backwards." "I'm drier than an Arab's fart." [B][U] I Need To Go For a Pee:[/U][/B] "Gonna drain me dragon." "My back teeth are floating." "Need to syphon the python." "Takin' the kids to the pool." "I got to take a snakes hiss." "Gotta go have a slash." "Gonna go water a horse." "I'm off to drain the main vein." "Time to splatter the bladder." "I'm dying for a piss ! so bad I can taste it." "Shake hands with the wife's best friend." [B][U]I need To Do a Poo:[/U][/B] "I gotta go give birth to a Kiwi." "I'm takin' a stroll to the gravy bowl." "It was like giving birth to Kim Beasly." "Off to the bog to leave an offering." "Time to snap off a grogan." "Have to hang a brown bear in the porcelain cave." "I'm gonna strangle a brownie." "There's a brown dog barking at the back door." "I'm going to give birth to your twin." "Need to choke a brown dog." "I've freed Nelson Mandela." "Going for a Rodney." "Taking out the garbage." "I gotta back one out." "Release the Chocolate hostage" "i gotta lay some cables for telstra" [B][U]Vomit:[/U][/B] "Calling for George." "I was driving the porcelain bus this morning." "I left him a lawn pizza." "Toss a tiger on the carpet." "Gotta go Ralph" [B][U]Insults:[/U][/B] "I hope your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders." "Not enough brains to giv! e 'imself a headache!" "About as useful as tits on a bull." "You must be the world's only living brain donor." "He's a few wanks short of an orgasm." "She had more pricks than a second hand dartboard." "He had a head on him like a sucked mango.." "May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down." "He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock." "So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him 'til the bell rang!" "Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery." "Pull your lip over your head and swallow!" "As ugly as a hat full of arseholes." "If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave it's arse and make it walk backwards." "Got a face like a bashed in shit can." "Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground." "Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse." "Couldn't organise a f**k in a brothel with a fist full of fifties." "About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking competition." "I'll kick your! bum till your nose bleeds!" "A stubbie short of a six pack." "Seen better heads in a piss trough." "You're as handy as shit on a stick." "Tighter than a fish's arse." "So tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit him." "Face like a smashed crab." "As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp." "He could talk a dog off a meatwagon." "F**ked in the head." "You've got a head like a half-eaten pastie." "He wouldn't go two rounds with a revolving door." "Mate, she's as rough as a pigs breakfast." "Your face is like a twisted ugg boot." "He's got a face like a cat licking shit off a thistle." "She's been hit with the ugly stick too many times." "She's two pick handles wide." "An arse like two pigs fighting in a sugar bag." "As ugly as a bag of spanners." "You've got a head like a dropped pie." "He thinks his shit don't stink, but his farts give him away." "I wish his dad had settled for a blow job." "Fell out of the ugly ! tree, and hit every branch on the way down." "Your the load your mother should have swallowed" "If I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it." "Wouldn't know if someone was up him sideways with an armful of deck chairs." "As thick as two short planks!" "you got a head like a busted watermelon" [B][U]Compliments[/U][/B]: "Ya bloods worth bottling!" "He's True Blue." [/QUOTE]
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