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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3386384" data-attributes="member: 14320">The Russian couples sex life was terrible, so they went out and bought ablack market copy of a sex manual. A week later, the man said to thewomen, "Honey, I want to eat your pussy like it says in the book, but itsmells so bad. Why don't you go out and buy some of that femininedeodorant spray?"She agreed. An hour later, she returned, all excited. "You should seethe flavors they have," she told her husband. "Strawberry, cherry,banana ....""What did you get?" he interrupted."Tuna," she replied.------Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a feminist?A. The lawyer sucks blood and the feminist sucks my cock.Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.Q. Did you hear about the new feminine hygiene spray called SSY?A. That's what you have left after you take the PU out of pussy.Did you hear about the necrophiliac who thought he was in love, untilthe rotten cunt split on him?-----A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends.Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over ten.Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you meant with one guy.------Q: Why do men die before their wives?A: They want to.Q: How do you turn a fox into an elephant?A: Marry it!Q: What's the difference between spit and swallow?A: Forty pounds of pressure on the back of her head.Q: How do you get four faggots to share a barstool?Q: Turn it upside down!Q: What do 60,000 abused woman have in common?A: They don't fucking listen!Q: What do you call a thick fingered lesbian?A: Well hungQ: What did the Mexican do with his first 50 cent piece?A: He married her.=====A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mentalstate, and that many people overlook the things they already have.He explains, "A man who has developed a true sense of appreciation canenjoy a good bowel movement as much as having sexual intercourse."Little Johnny stands up and says, "Professor, either you don't know howto fuck, or I don't know how to shit."======The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair of expensiveimported panties. "After all, dear," she said to her husband, "Youwouldn't expect to find fine perfume in a cheap bottle, would you?""No," her husband replied. "Nor would I expect to find gift wrapping ona dead beaver."===Q. What do you call lesbian twins?A. Lick-a-likes.Mary had a little lamb, it's fleece was white as snow,and everywhere that Mary went, she stepped in lamb shit.Q. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?A. One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker.Q. Do you know why no woman will ever be truly satisfied?A. Because no man will ever have a Chocolate Penis that ejaculatesMoney!</blockquote>

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