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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 3335616" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Raunchy Shorties</span></strong></p><p></p><p>DEAR MADAM: </p><p>THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT ORDER FROM OUR SEX TOYS WEBSITE. YOU'VE REQUESTED THE LARGE RED VIBRATOR AS FEATURED ON OUR WALL DISPLAY. </p><p>PLEASE SELECT ANOTHER ITEM. </p><p>THAT'S OUR FIRE EXTINGUISHER.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Q: What's the definition of a vagina? </p><p>A: The box a penis comes in. </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>What are the 2 most important holes on a women?</p><p>Her nostrils, so that she can breathe while giving a blowjob.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A guy walks up to a girl in a bar and says</p><p>"Hey, baby...want to sit on my face?"</p><p>She says "Why would I? Is your nose bigger then your cock?"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>When I was fucking this girl last night, she called out my brother's name instead of mine, what did I expect though, they'd been married 20 years.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>I keep having my profile on match.com rejected. </p><p>One of the profile questions was 'What do you want in a woman?' and the answer 'my cock' is unacceptable apparently! </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>What does it mean to come home to love tenderness compassion understanding and great sex?</p><p>It means you're in the wrong fucking house.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Last night my girlfriend pushed me onto the bed.</p><p>I lay helpless as she tied my hands and blindfolded me, then smeared chocolate spread over my hardening cock and swallowed me, inch by inch, deep into her throat.</p><p>And I thought Oh my God. She's turning into her mother. </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>My wife's back on the bottle. She said fisting just wasn't the same.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Hello?" Hearing only heavy breathing on the line, the woman repeated, "Hello?"</p><p>"I'll bet you want me to come into your bedroom," a male voice whispered, "undress you, lick you from head to toe, and make love to you until morning." </p><p>"Geez," the woman replied, "you can tell all that, just from two hellos?"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>John and Mike are in bed together and John is fucking Mike hard in the arse without a condom when he says 'I've got AIDS.' </p><p>Mike shudders and says, 'Have you?!?!' </p><p>To this John replies 'No, not really, I just like the way your arse tightens up when I say it.'</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 3335616, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Raunchy Shorties[/COLOR][/B] DEAR MADAM: THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT ORDER FROM OUR SEX TOYS WEBSITE. YOU'VE REQUESTED THE LARGE RED VIBRATOR AS FEATURED ON OUR WALL DISPLAY. PLEASE SELECT ANOTHER ITEM. THAT'S OUR FIRE EXTINGUISHER. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Q: What's the definition of a vagina? A: The box a penis comes in. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] What are the 2 most important holes on a women? Her nostrils, so that she can breathe while giving a blowjob. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] A guy walks up to a girl in a bar and says "Hey, baby...want to sit on my face?" She says "Why would I? Is your nose bigger then your cock?" [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] When I was fucking this girl last night, she called out my brother's name instead of mine, what did I expect though, they'd been married 20 years. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] I keep having my profile on match.com rejected. One of the profile questions was 'What do you want in a woman?' and the answer 'my cock' is unacceptable apparently! [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] What does it mean to come home to love tenderness compassion understanding and great sex? It means you're in the wrong fucking house. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Last night my girlfriend pushed me onto the bed. I lay helpless as she tied my hands and blindfolded me, then smeared chocolate spread over my hardening cock and swallowed me, inch by inch, deep into her throat. And I thought Oh my God. She's turning into her mother. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] My wife's back on the bottle. She said fisting just wasn't the same. [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] Hello?" Hearing only heavy breathing on the line, the woman repeated, "Hello?" "I'll bet you want me to come into your bedroom," a male voice whispered, "undress you, lick you from head to toe, and make love to you until morning." "Geez," the woman replied, "you can tell all that, just from two hellos?" [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] John and Mike are in bed together and John is fucking Mike hard in the arse without a condom when he says 'I've got AIDS.' Mike shudders and says, 'Have you?!?!' To this John replies 'No, not really, I just like the way your arse tightens up when I say it.' [/QUOTE]
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