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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064562584" data-attributes="member: 14320">Penis Envy*If I had a penis I'd wear it outside*In cafes and car lots with pomp and with pride *If I had a penis I'd pamper it proper *I'd stay in the tub and use me as a stopper *If I had a penis I'd take it to parties *Stretch it and stroke it and shove it at smarties *I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay *I'd stuff it in turkeys on thanksgiving day*I'd rival my buddies in sportscars and stick-shifts *I'd shower my spire with girlies and gifts *I'd peek around corners *I'd aim at my toilet *I'd poke it at foreigners *And soap it and oil it *If I had a penis I'd run to my mother *Comb out the hair and compare it to brother *I'd lance her, I'd knight her, my hands would indulge *Pants would seem tighter and buckle and bulge*A penis to plunder, a penis to push *Cause one in the hand is worth one in the bush *A penis to love me, a penis to share... *To pick up and play with when nobody's there*I'd sit like a guy, I'd straddle the chair *I'd play with my fly, albeit with care *I'd dip it in chocolate, I'd stick it in sockets *Go to the movies with hands deep in pockets *I'd stick it in vacuums on vacant verandas *Gas-guzzling bottles and poodles and pandas *And puddles and drain pipes and doggies and ditches, *Pool halls and potholes and bottles and bitches...*If I had a penis, I'd climb every mountain *I'd force it on females *I'd pee like a fountain...*If I had a penis I'd still be a girl, *But I'd make much more money and conquer the world.</blockquote>

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