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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064562584" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Penis Envy</p><p></p><p>*If I had a penis I'd wear it outside</p><p>*In cafes and car lots with pomp and with pride </p><p>*If I had a penis I'd pamper it proper </p><p>*I'd stay in the tub and use me as a stopper </p><p>*If I had a penis I'd take it to parties </p><p>*Stretch it and stroke it and shove it at smarties </p><p>*I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay </p><p>*I'd stuff it in turkeys on thanksgiving day</p><p>*I'd rival my buddies in sportscars and stick-shifts </p><p>*I'd shower my spire with girlies and gifts </p><p>*I'd peek around corners </p><p>*I'd aim at my toilet </p><p>*I'd poke it at foreigners </p><p>*And soap it and oil it </p><p>*If I had a penis I'd run to my mother </p><p>*Comb out the hair and compare it to brother </p><p>*I'd lance her, I'd knight her, my hands would indulge </p><p>*Pants would seem tighter and buckle and bulge</p><p>*A penis to plunder, a penis to push </p><p>*Cause one in the hand is worth one in the bush </p><p>*A penis to love me, a penis to share... </p><p>*To pick up and play with when nobody's there</p><p>*I'd sit like a guy, I'd straddle the chair </p><p>*I'd play with my fly, albeit with care </p><p>*I'd dip it in chocolate, I'd stick it in sockets </p><p>*Go to the movies with hands deep in pockets </p><p>*I'd stick it in vacuums on vacant verandas </p><p>*Gas-guzzling bottles and poodles and pandas </p><p>*And puddles and drain pipes and doggies and ditches, </p><p>*Pool halls and potholes and bottles and bitches...</p><p>*If I had a penis, I'd climb every mountain </p><p>*I'd force it on females </p><p>*I'd pee like a fountain...</p><p>*If I had a penis I'd still be a girl, </p><p>*But I'd make much more money and conquer the world.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064562584, member: 14320"] Penis Envy *If I had a penis I'd wear it outside *In cafes and car lots with pomp and with pride *If I had a penis I'd pamper it proper *I'd stay in the tub and use me as a stopper *If I had a penis I'd take it to parties *Stretch it and stroke it and shove it at smarties *I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay *I'd stuff it in turkeys on thanksgiving day *I'd rival my buddies in sportscars and stick-shifts *I'd shower my spire with girlies and gifts *I'd peek around corners *I'd aim at my toilet *I'd poke it at foreigners *And soap it and oil it *If I had a penis I'd run to my mother *Comb out the hair and compare it to brother *I'd lance her, I'd knight her, my hands would indulge *Pants would seem tighter and buckle and bulge *A penis to plunder, a penis to push *Cause one in the hand is worth one in the bush *A penis to love me, a penis to share... *To pick up and play with when nobody's there *I'd sit like a guy, I'd straddle the chair *I'd play with my fly, albeit with care *I'd dip it in chocolate, I'd stick it in sockets *Go to the movies with hands deep in pockets *I'd stick it in vacuums on vacant verandas *Gas-guzzling bottles and poodles and pandas *And puddles and drain pipes and doggies and ditches, *Pool halls and potholes and bottles and bitches... *If I had a penis, I'd climb every mountain *I'd force it on females *I'd pee like a fountain... *If I had a penis I'd still be a girl, *But I'd make much more money and conquer the world. [/QUOTE]
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