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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064553662" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Two Elderly Ladies</p><p></p><p>Two elderly ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. </p><p></p><p>The lady asked, "What's that?" </p><p></p><p>"A condom," the other lady responded. "This way my cigarette doesn't get wet." </p><p></p><p>"Where did you get it?" the other lady asked. </p><p></p><p>"You can get them at any drugstore." </p><p></p><p>The next day, the first lady hobbled herself down to the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers. </p><p></p><p>"It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel." </p><p></p><p>The pharmacist fainted.</p><p></p><p>====</p><p></p><p>A lawyer had just hired a new secretary. His secretary walks in with some papers and noticed that his fly was open. She tells him, "Hey, the barracks door is open." He didn't understand what she was talking about, and then he happened to look down and see that his zipper was open. Later, his secretary walks in and he says to her, "By the way, when you noticed that the barracks door was open, did you happen to see a soldier standing there?" she replies simply but nicely, "No, all I saw was an old veteran sitting on two saddle bags."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064553662, member: 14320"] Two Elderly Ladies Two elderly ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. The lady asked, "What's that?" "A condom," the other lady responded. "This way my cigarette doesn't get wet." "Where did you get it?" the other lady asked. "You can get them at any drugstore." The next day, the first lady hobbled herself down to the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers. "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel." The pharmacist fainted. ==== A lawyer had just hired a new secretary. His secretary walks in with some papers and noticed that his fly was open. She tells him, "Hey, the barracks door is open." He didn't understand what she was talking about, and then he happened to look down and see that his zipper was open. Later, his secretary walks in and he says to her, "By the way, when you noticed that the barracks door was open, did you happen to see a soldier standing there?" she replies simply but nicely, "No, all I saw was an old veteran sitting on two saddle bags." [/QUOTE]
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