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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064543459" data-attributes="member: 14320">Cool One LinersRoses are red that much is true but violets are purple not fucking blue.Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs.If my wife finds out, she'll f**king kill me.Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.A fake name and a fake number.It would be a lot easier to be a hard worker if my company didn’t block access to porn sites on the Internet.How many guys can participate in a gang bang before it's gay?The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.A vagina is like the weather. Once its wet, it's time to go insideHave you heard of the new movie called "Constipation"? It hasn't come out yet.I wonder if Asians put their smiley's like this ¦)I'd like to point out that 'beautiful' has u in it. But, 'quickie' has u & i together.When Hugh Hefner dies, will he really be going to a better place?I got raped by an alligator the other day. I think I have gatoraids.Roses are red. Nuts are round. Skirts go up. Panties go down. Belly to belly. Skin to skin. When it's stiff, stick it in.Sex, drugs, rock & roll; speed, weed, & birth control. Life's a bitch and then you die, so fuck the world and lets get high!I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people... But it needs more workA guy goes to the store to buy condoms. 'Do you want a bag?', the cashier asks 'No', the guy says, 'she's not that ugly' Relationships used to be X's an O's , now its just Exes and Hoes...Diarrhea is hereditary, it runs in your jeans.I wish I had parents like Dora. They let that b*tch go everywhere.A PENIS is the lightest thing in the world. Even a thought can raise it.Real men don't wear pink, they eat it.A pervert walks over to this sorority girl, he said "Bend over and spell run."So she bent over next thing she new there was a sharp pain she said "R U N"The perverted guy said "As far as I can go."</blockquote>

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