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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064524360" data-attributes="member: 14320">30 WAYS TO BE OFFENSIVE AT A FUNERAL!1) Tell the widow that the deceased last wish was that she make love to you!2) Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until you find your contact lens!3) Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first!4) Tell the widow that you are the deceased gay lover!5) Ask someone to take a photo of you shaking hands with the deceased!6) At the cemetery, play a Kazoo!7) Walk around telling people that you have seen the will and they are not in it!8) Ask the widow to give you a French kiss!9) Drive behind the widow's funeral car and keep honking your horn!10) Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask him if he will sneak it into the coffin!11) Put a hard boiled egg into the mouth of the deceased!12) Slip a whoopee cushion under the widow!13) Leave some phoney dog poo on the deceased!14) Tell the widow that you have to leave early and can she read the will before the funeral is over!15) Urge the widow to donate the deceased wooden leg to someone poor who needs firewood!16) Walk around telling people that the deceased did not like them!17) Use the deceased tongue to lick a stamp!18) Ask the widow for the ten dollars that the deceased owed you!19) Take up a collection to pay off the deceased gambling debts!20) Ask the widow if you can have the body to practice tattooing on!21) Put super glue on the deceased lips just before the widow's last kiss!22) Show up at the funeral in a clown suit!23) If the widow cries blow a trumpet every time she wipes her nose!24) When no one is looking put plastic vampire teeth in the deceased mouth!25) Toss a handful of cooked rice on the deceased and shout, "MAGGOTS, MAGGOTS!" and then pretend to faint!26) At the cemetery take bets on how long the body takes to decompose!27) Goose the widow as she bends over to throw dirt on the coffin!28) Circulate a petition to have the body stuffed instead of buried!29) Tell everyone that you are from the IRS and that you are confiscating the coffin for back taxes!30) Promise the minister a hundred dollars if he will laugh while praising the deceased!</blockquote>

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