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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064331845" data-attributes="member: 14320">Good SamaritanA Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the GoodSamaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead.She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catchthe drama. Then she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on theroadside wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"Little Johnny thought for a second, raised his hand, then said, "I'dprobably puke my fucking guts out."xxxxxThis guy says to his buddy, "You'll never believe what happenedlast night."His buddy says. "Well then, tell me what happened."The guy says, " Last night the doorbell rang, and when I openedthe door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch.She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?"I said, "Of course, you can," and shut the door."xxxxxQ: What is the best thing about ****** a "homeless" woman?A: You can drop her off anywhere.Q: Did you hear about the new radio station with the call letters WPMS?A: It has a monthly programming cycle that is three weeks of the bluesfollowed by one week of ragtime.Q: Did you hear the one about the guy they found with his dick stuckin a vacuum cleaner?A: He was trying to have sex without attachments.Q: How do you get a faggot interested in a woman?A: That's easy, just fill the woman's uterus with shit.Population ControlA population control program had been introduced to the island, but themedical men were having trouble getting the women to take their birthcontrol pills, They decided, therefore, to concentrate on teaching themen to wear condoms.One of the men who came in had eight children in eight years, andthe doctor told him that he absolutely had to wear a sheath.He explained that as long as he wore it his woman could not haveanother baby. About a month later, the wife came in and she waspregnant. The doctor got very angry. He called the man in and gave hima long lecture through an interpreter. He asked the man why he hadn'tworn the sheath.The interpreter said, "He swears he did wear it. He never took it off."The doctor shook his head. "In that case, ask him how in the hell hiswife is pregnant again?""He says," said the interpreter, "that after six days he had to take apiss so badly that he cut the end off." ********A guy walked into his friend's office, he foundhim sitting at his desk, looking very depressed."Hey, what's up with you?", he asks."Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretaryfor me.""Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?""Neither, He's bald."Camilla had come to see Dr. Freud. When the shrink began using sexualterms, she interrupted, "Wait, what is a phallic symbol?""A phallic symbol," explained Freud, "represents the phallus.""What's a phallus?" asked Camilla."Well," said the analyst, "the best way to explain it is to show you."He stood up, unzipped his fly and took out his prick. "This is aphallus.""Oh," said Camilla. "It's just like a cock, only smaller."========When I was young I used to eat my boogers.They were quite a treat!I'd swallow the snot, and the ones that would clotI'd save up to fill my mom’s pepper millAnd sprinkle on fish, or on a side dish,But I’ never eat them with meat, oh no,Don't ever eat them with meat.You can eat them on rye, or baked in a pieOr mix them with peas, or grate them with cheese.They're easy to chew, but whatever you do,Don't ever eat them with meat.========A man and woman were having marital problems so they went to see amarriage counselor.The counselor, in an attempt to find some common ground from which tobegin his analysis said, "Tell me about anything the two of you have incommon."The husband spoke up and said, "Well, neither one of us sucks cocks."</blockquote>

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