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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064320683" data-attributes="member: 14320">Old Mr. PeriwinkleOld Mr. Periwinkle was the nastiest, meanest patient in the hospital. So one day, Betty, the head nurse, decided to try and cheer him up. She brings him a beautiful bouquet of flowers and sets them down on his bedside table. Mean old Mr. Periwinkle promptly picks them up, throws them up against the wall, breaks the vase and flowers go everywhere. Betty patiently cleans up the mess and leaves the room. Later in the day, Betty comes back in and says to Mr. Periwinkle, "It's time to take your temperature, Mr. Periwinkle." He grumpily opens his mouth but Betty says, "No, not this time Mr. Periwinkle. We have to check it in the other end this time." Grumbling, Mr. Periwinkle turns over and sticks his rear end up in the air. Betty sticks it in and leaves the room. A while later, Dr. Brown is walking past Mr. Periwinkles room and looks in. He does a double take and wal ks in his room. "Mr. Periwinkle, what are you doing?" he says. "Oh that old nurse is taking my temperature." he replies. To which Dr. Brown says, "With a daisy?",,,,,Deb and Jeff had just finished a vigorous round of passionate sex whenJeff discovered that the condom he was using had come off. After theinitial panic wore off and expletives were issued, Jeff, in a fit ofhumor, grabbed a flashlight, and while pointing it towards Deb'sprivate parts yelled:"Swim toward the light! Swim toward the light!",,,,,"You'll never believe what happened to me!" said Andy to Fred."What?""This weekend, I went out hunting, and I came across a girl tied to the railroad tracks! She had the most beautiful body I ever saw! I untied her and I fucked her for hours! It was great!""So, did she suck a good dick?""Well, that's the only thing. I looked and looked, but I never did find her head."Dr. ChangA woman is very distraught because she hasn't had adate or any sex in quite sometime. Concerned that shemay have something wrong with her, she decides toemploy the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Herfamily doctor recommends Dr. Chang, a well-knownChinese sex therapist.The next day, the woman enters the examination room,and Dr. Chang says, "Okay, take off all your crose."The woman thinks nothing of the doctor's request,considering she is in a doctor's office, after all.Then, Dr. Chang says, "Now, get down and crawl reeryfass to the other side of room."The reluctant woman complies. She gets down onto thefloor and crawls to the other side of the room.The doctors holds back a smirk, slowly shakes his head,and says, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed ZacharyDisease. Worse case I ever see. That why you not hafsex or dates."Confused, the woman asks, "What in the world is thisEd Zachary Disease?"Dr. Chang replies, "It when your face rook Ed Zacharyrike your ass."Q: Mommy, Mommy! Why don't I have a big thing like Daddy's between mylegs?A: You will when you're older, Lucy!Q: How do you make a hormone?A: Don't pay her.Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a cat?A: A pussy-gobbler.Q: What's the difference between a gynecologist and a geneologist?A: A genealogist looks up your family tree and a genealogist looksup your family bush.One day a boy asks his dad,What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?Dad thought for a minute and said "Come with me." He took hisson to his mother's bedroom, where she was sleeping nude.Son" he whispered, see that brown soft furry patch?That is a pussy".The boy asked, "May I touch it to see how soft and furry it is?No!" replied his father.That might wake the cunt up</blockquote>

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