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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064268345" data-attributes="member: 14320">Things To Do With A Dead Dick1. Insert bulb and use as flashlight2. Fill with ink and use as bingo dabber(Stop laughing, that's not funny.)3. Fill with Frosting and squeeze to decorate cake4. Use it as a decoration to hang from your rearview mirror5. Hang a dried out one inside an upside-down clay pot for an interestingbell. Gives new meaning to the phrase "ding dong"6. Nail it to the wall and use it for a coat rack7. In a pinch (literally), poke extra holes in the end and replace showernozzle8. Conversation piece on the coffee table....("Oh, that's just Ronaldwhen he was in his prime.")9. Redneck girl's toothpick holder10. Dip it in candied apple glaze and make an all day sucker out of it!!!(At least you'll finally suck it.)11. Fill with Vicks and use as a nose inhaler12. Fill it up with plaster of paris and use it as a microphone whilesinging the Lorena Bobbit song13. Stick a Mickey mouse head on the tip, slit the dick horizontally,insert a spring in the bottom, and use as a pez dispenser.14. Soak in it Starch, let it dry, and use it as a dildo15. To induce vomiting16. Use it as a nozzle to provide a steady stream on your garden hose(and be sure to write your name with the water stream)!17. Nail it to the wall and hang your coffee mug on itoOoOoOoOoOoOIt was a slow afternoon at the pharmacy whenAnthony, the pharmacist, saw a young, buxomblonde walk into the drugstore. The beautifulblonde sashayed up to the counter and askedAnthony, "Do you sell extra large condoms?"The pharmacist replied, "Yes we do. Would youlike to buy some?"The blonde responds, "No sir, but do you mindif I wait around here until someone does?"CellmatesThese two men were cell mates at state penitentiaryfor nine years. One day Larry said to Joe,"You know man its been a long time since we had somesex so you oughta let me fuck you in the ass."Joe replied. "Are you crazy?!!"Larry went on to say,"I promise you that it won't hurt and we'll flip a coin and see who fucks who first.So, Joe thought about it for a minute and finally agreed.They flipped a coin and Larry won.Still having strong reservation Joe asked,"How will you tell if it hurts or not?"Larry told Joe,"If it hurts you start making animal noises, and I'll stop.But if it feels good start singing."Larry started the insertion and Joe screamed,Moooooooo.... Moooooo... Mooooon River!!!!!!=====A woman orders a chicken sandwich and starts to choke. People are running frantically, trying to figure out what to do. Two gay guys sitting in the corner whisper to each other and run in front of the choking lady. One strips out of his overalls, bends over butt naked in front of his friend. His friend proceeds to lick the other's bottom.Upon seeing this, the lady vomits, forcing the lodged food from her throat. After making sure the lady is OK, the two guys return to their food. The other one turns and says, "WOW, that hind-lick maneuver really works!"=====Bunbuster FartSounds like a Beefy Fart,except much more sudden and much much more powerful.Generally smells eggy or beefy.Leaves your asshole smarting. You really feel these babies.</blockquote>