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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064253127" data-attributes="member: 14320">The Usual WayWhen the gynecologist confirmed her suspicion that she was pregnant, Ann got a little scared. "It will be my first baby," she confessed with a blush, "and I do not actually know the first thing about how babies are delivered.""Do not worry about a thing," reassured the doctor. "It is really not all that different from how the baby got started in the first place."Startled, Ann exclaimed, "You mean, five tequila shooters and then a ride in Charlie's truck?"_______The young hooker reports for her first day at the brothel. The madam says to her, "Do you have any questions?"The hooker replies, "Yes, I was wondering how long penises should be sucked?"The madam says, "The same as the short ones."_______Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I do not sell more cars this month, I am going to lose my fucking ass." Too late, he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language."That is okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem. If I do not sell more ass this month, I am going to lose my fucking car."As Day Approaches NightAs day approaches nightfallMy tongue has one desireTo slip between the lips of your pussyIgnite that lustful fireFingers play along the rim,To search for growing clitTo gently probe around her baseAdd tender subtle flickFingers reach, and gently searchTo find that special spotThe one to inflame passionIn a pussy now red hotYou start to shake, and quiver nowYour pussy is aliveAs orgasm engulfs youThe goal, for which I strive~Author unknownÖ¿Ö¬Rose walked into a Lexus dealership. She browses around,then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. Asshe bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fartescapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously tosee if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a salesperson doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back, therestanding next to her is a salesman."Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of thislovely vehicle?"He answers, "Madame, if you farted just touching it, you aregoing to shit when you hear the price."The bar was getting ready to close,so Robert asked the nearest woman,What would you say to a little 'oral' activity?That all depends, she quickly responded.Your face, or mine?Ö¿Ö¬A man has just jacked off and is staring at the sperm in his hand.He says thoughtfully, "Any of you could have been a great person.Perhaps a scientist, a best selling author, even the President of the United States."He then raises his hand and licks it clean."Guess I'll give you another chance."What I've learned ...I've learnedThat it's not what you have in your life that counts ...But how much you have in your bank accountsI've learnedThat you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes ...After that, you'd better have huge titsI've learnedThat you shouldn't compare yourself to others ...They are more fucked up than you thinkI've learnedTo say ~ Fuck'm if they can't take a joke !Ö¿Ö¬My husband calls me a double bagger.Not only does my husband put abag over my face when we're making love, but he alsoputs a bag over his head in case mine falls off.</blockquote>

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