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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064231390" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">The Restroom</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in an upscale hamburger establishment. She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers.</p><p>When he does so, she begins to gently caress is cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red.</p><p>"Are you the owner?"</p><p>she asks, now softly stroking his face with both hands. Actually,"No" he replies.</p><p>"I'm just the manager."</p><p>"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him."</p><p>She asks, running her hands up beyond his ears and into his hair.</p><p>"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the manager clearly aroused,"he's in the back doing taxes right now. Is there anything I can do?"</p><p>"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message."</p><p></p><p>She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.</p><p>"Tell him" she says "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."</p><p></p><p></p><p>Aunt Rose was in the garden tending to her flowers when she</p><p>got about to pee. So she did and wiped off the dew on a rose.</p><p>Uncle Fred came along later, picked up the rose, sniffed it, then</p><p>ran to phone the newspaper editor.</p><p>"I found a rose that smells like a woman's you-know-what!"</p><p>The editor said, "That's nothing. When you find a you-know-what</p><p>that smells like a rose, call me again."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">A Hovering Fly</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A fly is hovering 6 inches above a lake.</p><p></p><p>In the lake is a salmon and the salmon thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches</p><p></p><p>I can jump out and eat it".</p><p></p><p>Now on the edge of the lake there is a bear and the bear thinks,</p><p></p><p>"If that fly drops 6 inches the salmon will jump out to get it,</p><p></p><p>then I can grab the salmon and eat it".</p><p></p><p>Just behind the bear is a hunter and the hunter thinks,</p><p></p><p>"If that fly drops 6 inches the salmon will jump out to get it</p><p></p><p>then the bear will grab the salmon and while it's distracted I can shoot it".</p><p></p><p>Behind the hunter is a mouse and the mouse thinks,</p><p></p><p>"If that fly drops 6 inches the salmon will jump out to get it,</p><p></p><p>then the bear will grab the salmon, the hunter will</p><p></p><p>move forward to shoot it, drop his sandwiches and I’ve got my tea",</p><p></p><p>behind the mouse is a cat and the cat thinks,</p><p></p><p>"If that fly drops 6 inches the salmon will jump out to get it,</p><p></p><p>then the bear will grab the salmon, the hunter will move forward to shoot it,</p><p></p><p>drop his sandwiches, the mouse will grab the sandwiches</p><p></p><p>and while it's distracted I can grab it and eat it".</p><p></p><p>Just as the cat thinks this the fly drops 6 inches, the salmon jumps out,</p><p></p><p>eats it then the bear eats the salmon the hunter shoots the bear,</p><p></p><p>drops his sandwiches the mouse grabs the sandwiches,</p><p></p><p>and the cat pounces on the mouse but misses and falls in the lake.</p><p></p><p>The morale of the story, "if a fly drops 6 inches you'll end up with a wet pussy"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">______</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Love is a temptation caused by a sensation</p><p>which a man sticks his location into a girls destination</p><p>which doubles the population for the next generation</p><p>do you need an explanation or do you need a demonstration?</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">_______</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Q:Why did Dairy Queen get pregnant?</p><p>A:Because Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.</p><p></p><p>One sperm says to another: How long will it take to get to the womb??????</p><p>The other sperm replies: Quite a while we have to pass the tonsils first!!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064231390, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]The Restroom[/COLOR][/B] A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in an upscale hamburger establishment. She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress is cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red. "Are you the owner?" she asks, now softly stroking his face with both hands. Actually,"No" he replies. "I'm just the manager." "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him." She asks, running her hands up beyond his ears and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the manager clearly aroused,"he's in the back doing taxes right now. Is there anything I can do?" "Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message." She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him" she says "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room." Aunt Rose was in the garden tending to her flowers when she got about to pee. So she did and wiped off the dew on a rose. Uncle Fred came along later, picked up the rose, sniffed it, then ran to phone the newspaper editor. "I found a rose that smells like a woman's you-know-what!" The editor said, "That's nothing. When you find a you-know-what that smells like a rose, call me again." [B][COLOR="Teal"]A Hovering Fly[/COLOR][/B] A fly is hovering 6 inches above a lake. In the lake is a salmon and the salmon thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches I can jump out and eat it". Now on the edge of the lake there is a bear and the bear thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches the salmon will jump out to get it, then I can grab the salmon and eat it". Just behind the bear is a hunter and the hunter thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches the salmon will jump out to get it then the bear will grab the salmon and while it's distracted I can shoot it". Behind the hunter is a mouse and the mouse thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches the salmon will jump out to get it, then the bear will grab the salmon, the hunter will move forward to shoot it, drop his sandwiches and I’ve got my tea", behind the mouse is a cat and the cat thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches the salmon will jump out to get it, then the bear will grab the salmon, the hunter will move forward to shoot it, drop his sandwiches, the mouse will grab the sandwiches and while it's distracted I can grab it and eat it". Just as the cat thinks this the fly drops 6 inches, the salmon jumps out, eats it then the bear eats the salmon the hunter shoots the bear, drops his sandwiches the mouse grabs the sandwiches, and the cat pounces on the mouse but misses and falls in the lake. The morale of the story, "if a fly drops 6 inches you'll end up with a wet pussy" [B][COLOR="Red"]______[/COLOR][/B] Love is a temptation caused by a sensation which a man sticks his location into a girls destination which doubles the population for the next generation do you need an explanation or do you need a demonstration? [B][COLOR="Red"]_______[/COLOR][/B] Q:Why did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A:Because Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper. One sperm says to another: How long will it take to get to the womb?????? The other sperm replies: Quite a while we have to pass the tonsils first!!!!! [/QUOTE]
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