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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064188724" data-attributes="member: 14320">THE LOVE DRESSA woman stopped by unannounced at herson's house. She knocked on the door thenimmediately walked in. She was shocked toSee her daughter-in-law lying on the couch,totally naked. Soft music was playing, and thearoma of perfume filled the room."What are you doing?" she asked."I'm waiting for John to come home fromwork," the daughter-in-law Answered."But you're naked!" The mother-in-lawexclaimed."This is my love dress." The daughter-in-lawexplained."Love dress? But you're naked!""John loves me to wear this dress." Sheexplained. "It excites him to no End. Everytime he sees me in this dress, he instantlybecomes romantic and ravages me forhours. He can't get enough of me".The mother-in-law left. When she gothome she undressed, showered, puton her best perfume, dimmed the lights,put on a romantic CD, and laid on thecouch waiting for her husband to arrive.Finally, her husband came Home. Hewalked in and saw her lying there soprovocatively."What are you doing?" He asked."This is my love dress," she whispered,sensually."Needs ironing" he said - "What's fordinner?"nnnA man was lying on his deathbed, his wife there to comfort him during his last moments. Being a good catholic and a strong believer in confession he began to say something that he felt he needed to get off of his chest before passing from this present life. As he began to speak though, his wife told him not to speak, to save his strength but he would hear nothing of the sort for he knew the end was already near. So his faithful wife listened as he said in his rapidly fading voice, “honey, I love you so I feel like I should be the one to tell you this. I cheated on you with your sister, your sister's friend, and your sister's friend's sister.'' Now the man, having spent the last of his strength lay quietly as his wife looked at him with lovingly understanding eyes and said, ''I know...that's why I poisoned you.'' The Cattle CowboyWhen the cattle had been loaded into cars and shipped to Chicago for sale, each car was appointed an attendant to feed and water the cattle during the journey. This is the story of such a cowboy:Following the unloading of the cattle in Chicago, the cowboy headed to a restaurant for dinner. The only seat was next to a lady who looked wealthy and educated. He couldn't help overhearing her order. "I'll have a breast of fowl, virgin fowl, make sure it's a virgin, catch it yourself, garnish my plate with onions, a cup of coffee, not too hot, not to cold, and open the window, I smell a cow, there must be a cowboy in here."Thoroughly pissed off, the cowboy placed his order. "I'll have a duck, a fucked duck, make sure it's fucked, fuck it yourself, garnish my plate with horse shit, a cup of coffee, strong as Texas mule piss, blow the foam off with a fart, and knock out the wall, I smell a cunt, there must be a whore in the house."=========Two elderly men were talking about Viagra. One had never heard of it and asked the other what it was for."It's the greatest invention ever," he said. "It makes you feel like a man of 30." "Can you get it over the counter?" "Probably - if you took two."Did you hear about the side-effects of the Viagra pill for men? If you swallow it slowly, you'll get a stiff neck.What do you get if you mix Viagra and Prozac? - A guy who is ready to go but doesn't really care where.Why is Viagra like Disneyworld? - You have to wait an hour for a three I minute ride.=========Q: What's sex like for Michael Jackson?A: Like candy from a baby.Q: What's Michael Jackson's next movie?A: Honey I Blew the Kid.Q: Why does Michael Jackson own a theme park for kids?A: He's always been into children's shit.</blockquote>

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