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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064162946" data-attributes="member: 14320">Norman's Blonde WifeNorman and his wife live in Cleveland. One winter morning whilelistening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are goingto have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your caron the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplows canget through."Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says,"We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must parkyour car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplowscan get through."Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again.The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radioannouncer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today.You must park ..." just then the power goes out, and Norman's wifeis very upset. With a worried look on her face she says, "Oh god,I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need topark on so the plows can get through?"With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who aremarried to blondes exhibit, Norman says, "Honey, why don't youjust leave it in the garage this time?"A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind.After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed.So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was notyet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "Mylittle boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bedand crosses her room to the husband. On the way she trips onthe carpet and falls on her face. The husband with aconcerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my littlehoney-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?" The woman getsup and enters the man's bed. The two have passionate sex andafterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to herbed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and fallsflat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at hiswife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy bitch."This 45 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bedlaughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her.He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous! What on earthdo you think you're doing?"She says, "I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breastsof an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again.He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 45 year-old ass?""Your name never came up," she repliedhjkl;'Two tourists were driving through Louisiana.As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about thepronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until theystopped for lunch.As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee,"Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Wouldyou please pronounce where we are...very slowly?"The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr,gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing.hjkl;'"I went to see my doctor. Doctor, every morning when I get up and lookin the mirror ... I feel like throwing up;What's wrong with me? He said ... I don't know but your eyesight isperfect."hjkl;'A Polock who'd recently come to the United States walked into a barone day carrying a pistol, a bag of shit, and a dead cat. He asked thebartender for a shot of rye. He downed the whiskey, picked up thepistol, and fired three shots into the bag of shit. Then he picked upthe dead cat and started gnawing.The bartender asked the Polock what the hell he thought he was doing.I want to be like American man," the Polock said. "Drink whiskey,shoot the shit, and eat pussy."</blockquote>

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