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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064162946" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Norman's Blonde Wife</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Norman and his wife live in Cleveland. One winter morning while</p><p>listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going</p><p>to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car</p><p>on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can</p><p>get through."</p><p></p><p>Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.</p><p></p><p>A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says,</p><p>"We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park</p><p>your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplows</p><p>can get through."</p><p></p><p>Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again.</p><p></p><p>The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio</p><p>announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today.</p><p>You must park ..." just then the power goes out, and Norman's wife</p><p>is very upset. With a worried look on her face she says, "Oh god,</p><p>I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to</p><p>park on so the plows can get through?"</p><p></p><p>With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are</p><p>married to blondes exhibit, Norman says, "Honey, why don't you</p><p>just leave it in the garage this time?"</p><p></p><p></p><p>A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind.</p><p>After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed.</p><p>So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not</p><p>yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My</p><p>little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed</p><p>and crosses her room to the husband. On the way she trips on</p><p>the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a</p><p>concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little</p><p>honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?" The woman gets</p><p>up and enters the man's bed. The two have passionate sex and</p><p>afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her</p><p>bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls</p><p>flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his</p><p>wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy bitch."</p><p></p><p>This 45 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed</p><p>laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her.</p><p>He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous! What on earth</p><p>do you think you're doing?"</p><p>She says, "I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts</p><p>of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again.</p><p>He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 45 year-old ass?"</p><p>"Your name never came up," she replied</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">hjkl;'</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Two tourists were driving through Louisiana.</p><p></p><p>As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the</p><p>pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they</p><p>stopped for lunch.</p><p></p><p>As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee,</p><p>"Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would</p><p>you please pronounce where we are...very slowly?"</p><p></p><p>The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr,</p><p>gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">hjkl;'</span></strong></p><p></p><p>"I went to see my doctor. Doctor, every morning when I get up and look</p><p>in the mirror ... I feel like throwing up;</p><p>What's wrong with me? He said ... I don't know but your eyesight is</p><p>perfect."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">hjkl;'</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A Polock who'd recently come to the United States walked into a bar</p><p>one day carrying a pistol, a bag of shit, and a dead cat. He asked the</p><p>bartender for a shot of rye. He downed the whiskey, picked up the</p><p>pistol, and fired three shots into the bag of shit. Then he picked up</p><p>the dead cat and started gnawing.</p><p>The bartender asked the Polock what the hell he thought he was doing.</p><p>I want to be like American man," the Polock said. "Drink whiskey,</p><p>shoot the shit, and eat pussy."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064162946, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Norman's Blonde Wife[/COLOR][/B] Norman and his wife live in Cleveland. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park ..." just then the power goes out, and Norman's wife is very upset. With a worried look on her face she says, "Oh god, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plows can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Norman says, "Honey, why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?" A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses her room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?" The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two have passionate sex and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy bitch." This 45 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous! What on earth do you think you're doing?" She says, "I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 45 year-old ass?" "Your name never came up," she replied [B][COLOR="Red"]hjkl;'[/COLOR][/B] Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are...very slowly?" The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing. [B][COLOR="Red"]hjkl;'[/COLOR][/B] "I went to see my doctor. Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror ... I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me? He said ... I don't know but your eyesight is perfect." [B][COLOR="Red"]hjkl;'[/COLOR][/B] A Polock who'd recently come to the United States walked into a bar one day carrying a pistol, a bag of shit, and a dead cat. He asked the bartender for a shot of rye. He downed the whiskey, picked up the pistol, and fired three shots into the bag of shit. Then he picked up the dead cat and started gnawing. The bartender asked the Polock what the hell he thought he was doing. I want to be like American man," the Polock said. "Drink whiskey, shoot the shit, and eat pussy." [/QUOTE]
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