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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064055072" data-attributes="member: 14320">A Farmer And A StudentA farmer hires a college student one summer to help around the farm. At the end of the summer the farmer says, "Son, since you have done such a fine job here this summer, I am going to throw a party for you." The college guy says, "Right on, thanks a lot man." So the farmer says, "Well you better be able to handle a few beers because there will be lotsa drinkn' going on." College guy "Hey, I can drink just as much as anyone else so I should do just fine." Farmer "There is also going to be a lot of fightn' so I hope you are ready." College guy "I have been working hard all summer and I think I am in pretty good shape." Farmer says, "Well, did I mention that there will be lotsa sex?" College guy "Good. I have been out here all summer and I have been dying for some action. What should I wear to this party?" Farmer says, "I don't care it's just going to be me and you."This lady goes to the gynecologist but won't tell the receptionist what's wrong with her, just that she must see a doctor. After hours of waiting the doctor sees her in. Ok my good woman what is your problem the doctor asks. Well, she says, my husband is a very compulsive gambler and every nickel he can get his hands on he gambles. So I had five hundred dollars and I stuffed it in my vagina but now I can't get it out. The doctor says, don't be nervous I see this happen all the time. He asks her to pull down her underwear sits her down with her legs wide open puts his gloves on and says: I only have one question. What am I looking for? Bills or loose change?There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"No Arms Or LegsA very good looking guy is walking down the beach and hesees a woman with no arms or legs, just "sitting" there.As he approaches her, he notices that she is crying hereyes out. He bends down and asks "why are you crying?"She replies, "I've never been deeply kissed, would youkiss me?"So he thinks for a second and then bends down, gives her adeep kiss and starts to walk away again. But then shestarts bawling and crying even louder. He turns and askswhy she's crying this time. She looks at him wantonlyand says, "I've never been fucked before."So he thinks for another second, walks over to her,bends down and picks her up, and chucks her into theocean, and says, "Well, you're fucked now."A Young Aussie was enjoying his first night in Rome drinking cappuccinoat a pavement cafe when a pretty girl sat beside him."Hello," he said. " Do you understand English?""Only a little," she answered."How much?" he asked."Fifty dollars," she replied.A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase its sales, so theowner put up a sign saying, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for hisfree sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If heguessed correctly, he would get his free sex.The redneck then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close.The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."A week later, the same redneck, along with his buddy, Bubba, pulled infor a fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor againgave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Theredneck guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was4. You were close, but no free sex this time."As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think thatgame is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."Bubba replied, No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged my wifewon twice last week."</blockquote>

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