Reply to thread

See what others are reading now! Try Forums > Current Activity

Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063921806" data-attributes="member: 14320">Sex EducationA fifth grade teacher is told she must teach sex education toher class. Unfortunately, she is a math teacher and knowslittle about teaching sex ed. She decides to use her mathtechniques to teach the subject, and thinks flash cards willwork well.The next day in class, she explains that a new unit of sex edis to begin. She holds up the first flash card, a picture of abreast, and asked "Does anyone know what this is?"Little Suzie responds, "I know, I know! It's a picture of abreast and my mommy has two of them!"The teacher says, "Very good Suzie, you get a star for theexercise."The teacher grabs the next card and holdups a picture of apenis. She asks, "Does anyone know what this is?" and LittleJohnny's hand shoots into the air as he hurriedly says, "Iknow I know!! It a penis and my daddy has two of them!!!"The teacher corrects him saying, "Now Johnny, It is a penisbut I'm afraid your daddy can't have two of them."Little Johnny says, "Sure he does, he's got a little one hepees out of and a great big one that he brushes the sitter'steeth with!"nnnThree men, an Italian, a Jew, and a Pole, are sentenced tospend 15 years in solitary confinement. The Judge, feelingsorry for the men, decided to allow each to take with himwhatever is the one thing they feel they can't live without.The Italian says, "I'd like to take my woman with me."The Judge reluctantly agrees, and the Italian takes his wifeand heads off to solitary.The Jew says, "I'd like to take a telephone with me."The Judge agrees, and off goes the Jew with his telephone.The Pole pulls out a hand-held calculator and feverishlypunches the buttons for a few minutes and then announces, "I'dlike to take 3,000 cartons of cigarettes with me."The judge agrees, and off goes the Pole with his cigarettes.After 15 years they open the Italian's cell, and out comes theItalian with his wife and 15 children: "It wasn't so bad...."The Jew emerges and announces he is now a multi-millionaire,having set up a successful business by telephone.The Pole then comes out, trembling like a leaf, and shakilyasks, "Anybody got a match?"---------- Post added at 06:03 PM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 12:08 PM ----------Gay HitchhikersA truck driver pulled over to the side of the road and picked up two homosexualswho were hitchhiking.They climbed into the cab and the truck driver pulled the rig back onto the highway.A few minutes later, the first fag said. "Excuse me, but I have to fart." He held his breath,then the truck driver heard a low "Hsssssss."A few miles down the road, the second fag announced, "Excuse me, but I have to fart."The announcement was followed by another low "Hsssssss.""Jesus Fuckin Christ!" the truckie exclaimed. "You fairies can't even fart like men. Listento this." A moment later he emitted a deafening staccato machine gun burst from his arse."Ohhh!" one fag exclaimed, turning to the other. "You know what we have here, Bruce?A real virgin"nnnnnMum walked into the bathroom one day and foundyoung Johnny furiously scrubbing his dick with atoothbrush and toothpaste."What the hell do you think you're doing, youngman?!" she exclaimed."Don't try to stop me!" Johnny warned. "I'm gonnado this three times a day, because there's no way I'mgonna get a cavity that looks and smells as bad as mysister's."nnnnnA little girl was licking a lollipop at a hairdressers a drops it into a heap of cut hair lyingon the floor, the hairdresser says to her: Oh, "have you got hair on your lollipop"?"No", answers the little girl, "I'm only three."nnnnnQ: Why is a turd better than a woman?A: Because after you lay a turd you don't have to hug and kiss it.Q: What is the difference between a woman and a toilet?A: The toilet won't follow you around for three months when you're finished using it.Q: Did you hear about the new deodorant called Umpire?A: It's for foul balls.Q: Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?A: So no one confuses them with feminists.Q: What is the difference between American sewers and Mexican sewers?A: Mexican sewers have diving boards!Q: How do we know God is a man?A: Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.It's A Bit RichA guy walked up to a hooker and asked how much she wanted for a hand job."$100!" she replied."Fucking hell!" replied the guy, "That's a bit rich isn't it?""See that Porsche parked over there?" said the hooker, "I own it because I give the best hand jobs in town!"The guy thought this was OK and agreed on the price. The hand job went on for hours. The guy loved it so much that he asked how much it would cost for a head job."$250!" replied the hooker."Fucking hell," said the guy, "That's a bit rich isn't it?""See that block of apartments behind the Porsche?" replied the hooker, "I paid for that with cash because I give the best head jobs in town!""Wow," said the guy, "I'll give that a go as well!"When the pro finished the best head job he had ever had, he asked the hooker how much it would cost for the real thing."Well," replied the hooker, "You see that big factory behind the apartment block?""Yeah!" said the guy excitedly, "I see them!""Well," the hooker sighed, "That would be mine if I had a pussy!"[[[[[Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operatortold Bubba that she would send someone out right away."Where do you live?" asked the operator.Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"There was a long pause and finally Bubba said,"How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street andyou pick her up there?"[[[[[The new substitute teacher was introducing herself to theclass. "My name is Miss Prussy. That's like pussycat only withan 'r'."The next morning, she began class by asking if anyoneremembered her name. Little Johnny's hand shot up from the thirdrow. "Yes," he proudly exclaimed, "You're Miss Crunt."[[[[[Question: Did you hear about the two sailors and the nursewho were stranded together on a desert island?Answer: Afterthree months, the nurse was so disgusted with what she was doingthat she killed herself. Then, after three more months, thesailors were so disgusted with what they were doing, they buriedher.</blockquote>

Verification

The Marketplace Latest

New original Defi Advance A1 NA package triple...
- Started by david tao
- Engine and Performance
original rare Rays Volk Racing CE28 16x7jj offset...
- Started by david tao
- Chassis and Wheels
Honda Jazz/Fit JSracing GTwing Spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Toyota Vios NCP93 front bonnet hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Honda civic fc varis spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 Msport front bumper set
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3/GTS front bonnet hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 vorsteiner rear bumper diffuser
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Mitsubishi Lancer Evo bodykit
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3 front skirt lip
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body

Posts refresh every 5 minutes

DIY - Removing radiator fan assembly Proton Gen 2

Date 15/05/2011

One day my wife complained that my Gen 2 overheat with the temperature reaching the RED Zone. I suspected the radiator fan malfunctioned. So i try to open up the radiator fan assembly to perform...

Team Lotus Formula One street demo at Putrajaya on Saturday

https://www.zerotohundred.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/f11-600x399.jpg

Street demos have been quite a staple diet for promoting Formula One here in Malaysia and for the first time ever, Team Lotus, in...

wts:r32 gtr front bumper

r32 gtr front bumper with lip
no crack
rm400 nego
sms/call 0166623266

View attachment 630427