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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063900272" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Clues A Gal Should Call It A Night</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.</p><p></p><p>2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt</p><p>while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.</p><p></p><p>3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly</p><p>believe I could do it too.</p><p></p><p>4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye</p><p>Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.</p><p></p><p>5 . I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm eating even</p><p>though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.</p><p></p><p>6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo</p><p>much.</p><p></p><p>7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work.</p><p></p><p>8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.</p><p></p><p>9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.</p><p></p><p>10 . The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and</p><p>sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.</p><p></p><p>11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep</p><p>them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.</p><p></p><p>12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.</p><p></p><p>13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just</p><p>lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.</p><p></p><p>14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen</p><p>floor.</p><p></p><p>15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the</p><p>WRONG WAY but..."</p><p></p><p>16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.</p><p></p><p>17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.</p><p></p><p>18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be</p><p>standing) and take a quick nap.</p><p></p><p>19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down</p><p>on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.</p><p></p><p>20. I take off my shoes and walk around barefooted b/c I think it's</p><p>their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.<span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"><span style="font-size: 9px">---------- Post added at 06:12 PM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 12:18 PM ----------</span></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span></p><p><span style="color: Silver"></span><span style="color: Teal">Bumper Stickers</span></p><p></p><p>* We're staying together for the sake of the cats.</p><p>* Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.</p><p>* This is not an abandoned vehicle.</p><p>* I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.</p><p>* It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.</p><p>* Life's too short to dance with ugly men.</p><p>* Life's too short to dance with ugly women.</p><p>* My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.</p><p>* When you do a good deed get a receipt (in case heaven is like the IRS).</p><p>* I is a college student.</p><p>* Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.</p><p>* Sorry, I don't date outside my species.</p><p>* Eschew obfuscation.</p><p>* Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law' s face on the back of a milk carton.</p><p>* It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.</p><p>* Don't steal. The government hates competition.</p><p>* Never play leap frog with a unicorn.</p><p>* Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.</p><p>* I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?</p><p>* Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.</p><p>* Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle.</p><p>* Friends don't let friends drive naked.</p><p>* There's one in every crowd and they always find me.</p><p>* If money could talk, it would say goodbye.</p><p>* When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.</p><p>* Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats.</p><p>* The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.</p><p>* An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the earth.</p><p>* I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.</p><p>* No radio. Already stolen.</p><p>* Jesus loves you, but I think your an asshole!</p><p>* I have PMS and a handgun. ANY QUESTIONS?</p><p>* I took an IQ test and the results were negative.</p><p>* Tastes like chicken keep on licking. Tastes like trout get the fuck out!</p><p>* Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.</p><p>* Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.</p><p>* HORN DOES NOT WORK- WATCH FOR FINGER!</p><p>* My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student!</p><p>* If you're not angry, you're not paying attention!</p><p>* "KEEP HONKING".... I'M RELOADING</p><p>* My wife's other car is a broom.</p><p>* Constipated people don't give a shit.</p><p>* Practice safe sex, go fuck yourself.</p><p>* Who lit the fuse on your tampon?</p><p>* If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.</p><p>* To all you virgins thanks for nothing.</p><p>* Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings".</p><p>* If your not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass.</p><p>* It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.</p><p>* I don't have an attitude problem...You have a perception problem.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063900272, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Clues A Gal Should Call It A Night[/COLOR][/B] 1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is. 2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around. 3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too. 4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago. 5 . I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it. 6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much. 7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work. 8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me. 9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher. 10 . The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming. 11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy. 12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it. 13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin. 14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor. 15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..." 16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it. 17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves. 18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap. 19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink. 20. I take off my shoes and walk around barefooted b/c I think it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.[COLOR="Silver"] [SIZE=1]---------- Post added at 06:12 PM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 12:18 PM ----------[/SIZE] [/COLOR][COLOR="Teal"]Bumper Stickers[/COLOR] * We're staying together for the sake of the cats. * Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. * This is not an abandoned vehicle. * I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily. * It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you. * Life's too short to dance with ugly men. * Life's too short to dance with ugly women. * My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. * When you do a good deed get a receipt (in case heaven is like the IRS). * I is a college student. * Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off. * Sorry, I don't date outside my species. * Eschew obfuscation. * Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law' s face on the back of a milk carton. * It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. * Don't steal. The government hates competition. * Never play leap frog with a unicorn. * Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m. * I need someone really bad. Are you really bad? * Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips. * Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle. * Friends don't let friends drive naked. * There's one in every crowd and they always find me. * If money could talk, it would say goodbye. * When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger. * Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats. * The worst day fishing is better than the best day working. * An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the earth. * I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight. * No radio. Already stolen. * Jesus loves you, but I think your an asshole! * I have PMS and a handgun. ANY QUESTIONS? * I took an IQ test and the results were negative. * Tastes like chicken keep on licking. Tastes like trout get the fuck out! * Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. * Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. * HORN DOES NOT WORK- WATCH FOR FINGER! * My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student! * If you're not angry, you're not paying attention! * "KEEP HONKING".... I'M RELOADING * My wife's other car is a broom. * Constipated people don't give a shit. * Practice safe sex, go fuck yourself. * Who lit the fuse on your tampon? * If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut. * To all you virgins thanks for nothing. * Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings". * If your not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass. * It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger. * I don't have an attitude problem...You have a perception problem. [/QUOTE]
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