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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063900272" data-attributes="member: 14320">Clues A Gal Should Call It A Night1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my buttwhile yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestlybelieve I could do it too.4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy FayeBaker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.5 . I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm eating eventhough I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooomuch.7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work.8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.10 . The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table andsing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keepthem half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me justlemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchenfloor.15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this theWRONG WAY but..."16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to bestanding) and take a quick nap.19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut downon the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.20. I take off my shoes and walk around barefooted b/c I think it'stheir fault that I'm having problems walking straight.---------- Post added at 06:12 PM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 12:18 PM ----------Bumper Stickers* We're staying together for the sake of the cats.* Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.* This is not an abandoned vehicle.* I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.* It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.* Life's too short to dance with ugly men.* Life's too short to dance with ugly women.* My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.* When you do a good deed get a receipt (in case heaven is like the IRS).* I is a college student.* Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.* Sorry, I don't date outside my species.* Eschew obfuscation.* Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law' s face on the back of a milk carton.* It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.* Don't steal. The government hates competition.* Never play leap frog with a unicorn.* Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.* I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?* Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.* Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle.* Friends don't let friends drive naked.* There's one in every crowd and they always find me.* If money could talk, it would say goodbye.* When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.* Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats.* The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.* An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the earth.* I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.* No radio. Already stolen.* Jesus loves you, but I think your an asshole!* I have PMS and a handgun. ANY QUESTIONS?* I took an IQ test and the results were negative.* Tastes like chicken keep on licking. Tastes like trout get the fuck out!* Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.* Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.* HORN DOES NOT WORK- WATCH FOR FINGER!* My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student!* If you're not angry, you're not paying attention!* "KEEP HONKING".... I'M RELOADING* My wife's other car is a broom.* Constipated people don't give a shit.* Practice safe sex, go fuck yourself.* Who lit the fuse on your tampon?* If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.* To all you virgins thanks for nothing.* Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings".* If your not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass.* It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.* I don't have an attitude problem...You have a perception problem.</blockquote>

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