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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063887146" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Hillarious Miscellaneous</span></strong></p><p></p><p>When the gynecologist confirmed her suspicion that she was pregnant,</p><p>Judy got a little scared. "It'll be my first baby," she confessed with</p><p>a blush, "and actually I don't know the first thing about how babies</p><p>are delivered."</p><p></p><p>"Don't worry about a thing," reassured the doctor. "It's really not all</p><p>that different from how the baby got started in the first place."</p><p></p><p>Startled, Judy exclaimed, "You mean twice around the park with my legs</p><p>hanging out of the cab?"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man walks into a bar and he's really pissed. The</p><p>bartender gives him a drink and asks what the problem is.</p><p>All he says is, "All lawyers are assholes."</p><p>A man sitting in the corner shouts, "I take offense to that!"</p><p>The pissed off guy asks him, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"</p><p>He replies, "No, I'm an asshole!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@</span></strong></p><p></p><p>What do the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?</p><p>They've both swallowed a lot of semen.</p><p>What's the difference between toilet paper and toast?</p><p>Toast is brown on both sides.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A fairly standard ABC rating system by which all women can</p><p>be categorized:</p><p></p><p>A - I'd bang her silly.</p><p>B - I'd let her swallow my hot load.</p><p>C - I wouldn't fuck her with someone else's dick.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack".</p><p>The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another".</p><p>The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another".</p><p>As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"</p><p>The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her."</p><p>The bartender says "Geez, what did you say."</p><p>The man says " I told him, BAD DOG! BAD DOG!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063887146, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Hillarious Miscellaneous[/COLOR][/B] When the gynecologist confirmed her suspicion that she was pregnant, Judy got a little scared. "It'll be my first baby," she confessed with a blush, "and actually I don't know the first thing about how babies are delivered." "Don't worry about a thing," reassured the doctor. "It's really not all that different from how the baby got started in the first place." Startled, Judy exclaimed, "You mean twice around the park with my legs hanging out of the cab?" [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@[/COLOR][/B] A man walks into a bar and he's really pissed. The bartender gives him a drink and asks what the problem is. All he says is, "All lawyers are assholes." A man sitting in the corner shouts, "I take offense to that!" The pissed off guy asks him, "Why? Are you a lawyer?" He replies, "No, I'm an asshole!" [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@[/COLOR][/B] What do the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of semen. What's the difference between toilet paper and toast? Toast is brown on both sides. [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@[/COLOR][/B] A fairly standard ABC rating system by which all women can be categorized: A - I'd bang her silly. B - I'd let her swallow my hot load. C - I wouldn't fuck her with someone else's dick. [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@[/COLOR][/B] A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack". The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another". The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another". As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?" The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her." The bartender says "Geez, what did you say." The man says " I told him, BAD DOG! BAD DOG!" [/QUOTE]
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