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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063877808" data-attributes="member: 14320">FOOTBALL MOVES IN SEXHike = Up the rearReverse = 69Sack = Girl takes control and gets frisky2-pt. conversion = multiple orgasmsPrevent Defense = Condom/protectionFace Mask = guy pulls girl head down to blow himShotgun = Touchdown in a carTwo minute warning = Guy gives the girl a warning before he blowshis load.Holding = CuddlingSuper bowl = Wedding or Prom nightHuddle = Multiple participantsMadden '99 = Cyber sexInstant replay = When you tape the two of you having sexIllegal Use of the hands = MasturbationBall Hog = SlutOnside Kick = Making up after a fightDouble Header = Two mates in the same nightTight End = VirginWide Receiver = Girl that's looseFalse Start = Guy/Girl gets shut down (denied)Pass Interference = Some stupid kid interrupts before you can get someFumble = cheating (problem in the relationship)Putting it through the uprights = self explanatorySpecial Teams = Prostitute/GigoloUnsportsmanlike Conduct = Bragging to your friends about your activitiesDouble Coverage = Two condoms-------Ode To My ExI do not want you anywhereNot in my houseNot in my chairNot outsideInsideUp the stairNot in my carNot in my shopNot anywhere you slimy sotNot sittingStandingLaying downNot hereNot thereNot anywhereNot on my porchNot in my yardNot by my truckYou lousy fuckSo stay awayYou dirty LouseI do not want you at my houseA Little DoggieA little girl is walking along in the park when she comes across 3little dogs sitting there. She bends down to stroke the first dog andsays "How are you today little doggy"?To her utmost surprise the dog answers "I am very happy and contented,and have been going in and out of puddles all day".The girl then turns tothe second dog and says " How are you today little doggy"?The dog answers "I am very happy and contented, and have been going in and out of puddles all day".The girl then turns to the third dog and say "Little doggy you don'tlook as happy and contented as the other two, why would this be"At this the third dog answers "because my name is Puddles"===Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph."Hey..." asked the brunette at the wheel ,"Any cops following us?"The blonde turned around and had a long look at the road behind them."Yeah.......looks like it...""Are his flashers on?"The blonde turned around again......"Yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....."===What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.===Confucius say...Man with athletic fingers-makes broad jump!===What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.===Why do Jewish women like circumsized men best?Because Jewish women like 10% off ANYTHING!!FEMALE PRAYERBefore I lay me down to sleep,I pray for a man, who's not a creep.One who's handsome, smart and strong,One who's loves to listen long.One who thinks before he speaks,When he says he'll call, he won't wait weeks.I pray that he is gainfully employed,When I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.Pulls out my chair and opens my door,Massages my back and begs to do more.Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"I pray that this man will love me to no end,And never attempt to hit on my friend.And as I kneel and pray by my bed,I look at the creep you sent me instead.Amen.MALE PRAYERI pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobswho owns a liquor store.Amen.@@@Creation:First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing' .."After casting about for a suitable pearl, He kept messingaround and created a girl.Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender, Round, slim, andfirm, and ever so tender.Two lovely hips to increase hisdesire, And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud, Commanding his eyes,as he whispers aloud.Two lovely arms, just aching to blessyou, And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder, And twodreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.Then he added a mouth.Ruined the whole fucking thing.YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING TOO OLD WHEN:1. Your wife says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you have to reply,"Well, I can't do both."2. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes, but you're barefoot.3. You see a Serious Babe, and all that happens is, your pacemaker opens your garage door.4. You don't care WHERE your wife goes, as long as you don't have to go along.5. You are getting warnings to slow down from your doctor, instead of from the police.6. "Getting a little action" means you have enough fiber in your diet.7. "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the mall parking lot.8. An "all-nighter" means you don't have to get up out of bed to piss once.========Mrs. Jones went to see her doctor. When he inquired about her complaintshe replied that she suffered from a discharge.He instructed her to get undressed and lie down on the examining table.She did so.... The doctor put on rubber gloves and began to massage her"private parts."After a couple of minutes he asked, "How does that feel?""Wonderful," she replied, "but the discharge is from my ear."========Kathy and Suzy are having a conversation during there lunch break.Kathy asks, "So, Suzy, how's your sex life these days?"Suzy replies, "Oh, you know. It's the usual, Social Security kind.""Social Security?" Kathy asked quizzically."Yeah, you get a little each month, but it's not enough to live on."</blockquote>

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DIY HELP ! Alarm System on Kancil yr95

Hello guys... I need some help here.
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