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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063828040" data-attributes="member: 14320">Why Santa Can't Possibly Be A Mana. Men can't pack a bagb. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.c. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seenwith all those elvesd. Men don't answer their maile. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even injust as anything remotely resembling a "bowl full of jelly"f. Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing themg. Having to do the Ho-Ho-Ho thing would seriously inhibit theirability to pick up womenh. Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.Roses are Redish, Violets are Bluesh.If it wasn't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish.Why did Frosty the Snowman pull his pants down?He was waiting for the snow blower!Top 10 Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid10. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes.8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping andhandling.7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are styrofoampeanuts.6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed.5. Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the dork list.4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival Cruises with Kathie Lee.3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, "Touch my beardand I'll put the hurt on you."2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown."1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!" Father Christmas was in the Grotto, when after days of young childrenfiling past, he was confronted by a lovely looking eighteen year oldgirl.She sits herself down on Santa's knee and he asks her what she wants forChristmas. She says, "Well Santa, I've got no pubic hairs on my pussy,and I wondered if you could get me some for Christmas?"Santa replies, "Well I don't know, if I can get you Pubic hairs on yourPussy, will white whiskers do?"~~~~~That wily old pervert St. NickMade good use of the curve to his dick.He glazed the whole shaftPainted stripes, then he laughedAs he offered young ladies a lick.The night started with hot sexual talk,As they screwed they lost track of the clock.Throughout the next day,They continued to play,Until neither were able to walk!Twisted Sing-A-LongsRudolph The Red Nosed ReindeerRudolph the red nosed wino,Had a very shiny nose,And if you got too close to him,He would take off his clothes.All of the other winos,Used to laugh and call him names,They never let poor Rudolph,Join in any wino games.Then one chilly Christmas Eve,Rudolph froze to death in an alley.End of story.~~~~~Deck The HallsSee that drag queen his name's Molly.Fa La La La La La La La LaFor 50 bucks he'll make you jolly.Fa La La La La La La La LaSee him in his gay apparel.Fa La La La La La La La LaYou should meet his brother Carol.Fa La La La La La La La LaWhore's BusinessSung to the Tune of ~ White ChristmasI'm waiting for a whore's business,But I'm three dollars short on dough.While her earrings glisten,Her pimp will listen,He's hiding close by in a Roll's.I'm waiting for a whore's business,Although I'm shriveled from the cold.She will warm my body,And act real naughty,As well as all the other things she's told.I'm waiting for a whore's business,She's got my money in her fly.Her large breasts are bobbing,Makes my dick start throbbing,As I watch her pimp mouth the word "Goodbye."I'm waiting for a whore's business,She has a beautiful dark tan.As she peels off her clothing,I am filled with loathing,And discover that she really is a man.</blockquote>

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