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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063749883" data-attributes="member: 14320">A Terrible Car AccidentMr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife’s been in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs into the emergency room and says his wife’s been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the doctor and minutes later he comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.“Mr. Jones?” the doctor asks. “Yes sir, what’s happened? How is my wife?” The doctor sits next to him and says, “Not good news. Your wife’s accident resulted in two fractures of her spine.”“Oh my God” says Mr. Jones, “what will be her prognosis?” Dr. Smith says “Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However, her spine is inoperable. She’ll have no motor skills or capability. This means you will have to feed her.” Mr. Jones begins to sob. “And you’ll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia.”Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly. “Then, of course,” the doctor continued, “you’ll have to diaper her as she’ll have no control over her bladder and the diapers must be changed throughout the day.” Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries, sobs, wails.The doctor continues, “You’ll have to clean up her feces on a regular basis as she’ll have no control over her sphincters. Her bowel will engorge whenever and quite often I’m afraid. Of course you must clean her immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent she’ll be emitting regularly.”Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass. Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr. Jones on the shoulder. “Hey, I’m just fucking with you, she’s dead.”000000Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London .One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.Just before takeoff, a rabbi sat down in the aisle seat.After takeoff the rabbi kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, 'I need to get upand get a coke.' 'Don't get up,' said the rabbi, 'I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you.'As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the rabbi`s shoe andspat in it. When the Rabbi returned with the coke, the other Arabsaid, 'That looks good. I'd really like one, too.'Again, the rabbi obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone theother Arab picked up the rabbi`s other shoe and spat in it.When the rabbi returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. Asthe plane was landing, the rabbi slipped his feet into his shoes andknew immediately what had happened.He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors:'Why does it have to be this way?'How long must this go on?'This fighting between our nations?'This hatred?'This animosity?'This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?'</blockquote>

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