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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063639939" data-attributes="member: 14320">Loving Valentines from Us Gals to You GuysYou say you would like to screw me.You say I make you drool.But when it comes to making loveyou suck and I'd rather use my mechanical tool.You understand how to make me moan, how to make me squirm.But when it comes to your dick; it feels more like a little worm.Size DOES matter. I don't care what they say.So please do both of us a favor and just go away.Making love should be grand. It should make my heart to thump.But all I usually get out of it is just feeling you hump!Our relationship is over, it's kaput, its at the very end.You're a really bad fuck. I'm moving on to you best friend.I've had relationships before boyfriends one and two.They're dead now, but their still better at making love than you.You get it up, you put in, you go off and then you pull it out.I'll never have sex with you again you shitty lout!Broad shoulders you have; a small waist and a really nice firm ass.But you're too much in love with yourself so I think I'll have topass.Having sex with you has left me empty and bitter.I'd rather do it with the ugly guy next door .I'm his baby sitter.I'd like to have sex with you. You're built like a big stud horse.But you're so damn ugly; I'd have to put a paper bag over your faceof course.I wouldn't mind having sex with you. You're tender, gentle and kind.But when someone's so ugly that it'd take two bags . that's where Idraw the line!iiiiiA girl was telling her date about her old boyfriend, and while doingso was stroking her beer bottle up and down many times. Finally herdate has had enough and says, " You're always thinking about him.Why don't you think about me once in a while?""OK!" she says and starts stroking the top two inches of her bottle.iiiiiThere was a young fellow of HarrowWhose john was the size of a marrow.He said to his tart,"How's this for a start?My balls are outside in a barrow."Strip JointPete was sitting near the stage of a strip joint when thegirl came out and began dancing. Suddenly, as she began unzippingher dress, a man sitting behind Pete shouted, "Take it off, Baby!"causing Pete's ears to ring from the volume. Pete turned to theguy and scowled at him. "Sorry," the man apologized.Later as she began unhooking her bra the guy behind Peteagain loudly yelled, "Take it off, Baby!" and again earned ascowl."Sorry," the man apologized again.And yet once more when she began to slip down her pantiesthe air erupted with a bellowing, "Take it off, Baby!" Which, when met with the customary scowl resulted inanother, "Sorry."The act ended when the dancer ripped off her g-string,this time accompanied only by silence. "Hey, pal," Pete saidsarcastically, "where's your great enthusiam now, huh?""All over the back of your head."-----A women, gasping for her last breath on her deathbed,whispered a confession to her husband who was by her bedside."Dear, before I die I must tell you something. It was I who stolethe $50,000 from your safe. I spent it on a ritzy fuckfest withthe mailboy at your office. And it was I who got your cheap whoremistress secretary to skip town by bribing her to leave you. Andit was I who snitched you off for evasion to the IRS. Can youfind it in your heart to forgive me before I go?""Yes, dear," he smiled. "After all, it was I who poisonedyou."-----Two drunks were in a tavern sitting at the bar and staringinto their drinks. One got a curious look on his face and asked,"Hey, Pete! You ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it before?""Yep. I been married to one for fifteen years."</blockquote>

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