SMS from TwistedAngel

[pk47]

Is ok.
I dont mind.

 

[twistedangel]

its kinda personal...

 

[twistedangel]

kinda falling..apart..
by myself..

 

[twistedangel]

ever notice just when ya need help ur friends seem to be full of themselves..
i dont get it..sometimes ive put somuch out there for them..when they need me..
cant they do the same..all i wanted was a listenin ear..
maybe just ur presence there...

why is it so hard?and why do some ppl take things the wrong way?
why is it so hard..to just listen..or just be around for another...

 

[firewire]

most of my life, i dont need my friend's help

most of my life, i help my friends and never expect anything in return

life isn't that hard when you start to depend on yourself

life isn't that hard when you start to listen to your own echo

:rolleyes:

 

[Izso]

Originally posted by firewire@Nov 17 2004, 20:48
most of my life, i dont need my friend's help

most of my life, i help my friends and never expect anything in return

life isn't that hard when you start to depend on yourself

life isn't that hard when you start to listen to your own echo

:rolleyes:

Well said firewire, but life isn't as clear cut as you put it. People are different. Some can live on their own for days without having any contact with the entire world and others cannot live without making at least one phone call a day. Twisted mini-cooper-lady just so happens to be the type that is dependant on social interaction.

Twistedangel mini cooper dudette, Problems are always solvable. Just a matter of getting the right perspective to have it fixed. Being alone gives you time to think things through and also gives you time to work things out in your life and finally gives you time to change anything you feel that needs changing, like your attitude towards choosing your friends, or dumping your current life and trying it out elsewhere. Just examples, not suggestions btw. I've been in a rut myself where all you want is to have a listening ear.. and you don't get it. You shut out the whole world and then slowly start destroying yourself with poisoned thoughts and everything just seems so bleak.

I am suggestion now is you have a freaking cold shower, dip your head in ice cold water and cure that headache first. (Oi.. dry off after the shower la) then start thinking about the solutions to your problems. Write them down and read them over and over again.. Then read them again after one week. And read them again after another week. Compare how you feel then and now. See if you can provide solutions to the same problem. You'll notice that after sometime the solution is more plausible and more realistic.

Ie-Time heals. You just have to give yourself more of it.

Anyway, cherio and cheer up. Life isn't that bad. There's always the TURBO GOD to look up to and kowtow and praaaaaaaay that someday he'll let me mod my engine :P

 

[Izso]

I just read what I wrote. I have come to the conclusion that I am weird. :lol:

 

[city_hunter]

sad ? wana go for a ride on my mini ? :)

 

[twistedangel]

thx guys..well yea thx for the suggestion..
something stupid happened just now..well cant really type much now..
n need to clean some stuff...

firewire..i dont expect anything in return..but i really was in dire need of it just now..

n Izso..ur aint weird thx..kinda helped a bit..i could get out of the hse so instead found another solution ..though i feel so confined to this plc..yea a listenin ear is all i wanted..i tell ya if my room walls could talk they would prolly tell ya all my darkest secrets that ive let them in on..

basically still upset..trying to cope guess it doesnt matter what happens..its still gonna be the same prolly get some help from someone else..to solve this..thats the only solution to my problem..

i knoe life isnt bad..just that i really wanted someone to talk to..n i was so upset bout not having someone to talk to...

though id like to thank jiggly he's sucha darlin...i knew he was studying but he actually volounteered to take me out..n though he'd have to bring his books along..but the gesture was somethin i didnt expect..:) thx

city_hunter ...ur new...uve got a mini too..thats cool..what year?

 

[twistedangel]

just wish the person i wanna tlak to the most was around..for me.. :(

 

[twistedangel]

cant seem to clean the stuff off my keyboards..
dunno ...hand so tired already

 

[twistedangel]

My blackened tears stain my face
They’re falling at a constant pace
I’ve held them in for way to long
I’m just so tired of being “strong”

It’s time you saw the pain inside
So I no longer have to hide
Sympathy is not what I’m looking for
I just don’t want to hold it in anymore

But this is only in a dream
As my tears begin stream
No one’s here to see them fall
No one hears my silent call

You’ll never see the pain I feel
I’ve locked it inside with a seal
I will not give you that satisfaction
To see the pain you cause in action

Only alone will I cry
Anywhere else I think I’d die
I wish I could make you feel my pain
And yet towards you I feel no disdain

 

[twistedangel]

A thick, low fog has risen from the river
It blankets the ground of the harbor town
Pouring out over the byways in a cotton candy way

Silhouetted in the misted moonlight
A raptor, perched silent atop the gables
Searches out some unsuspecting prey

From the darkness below, just an oversized gargoyle
Watching o’re the earth bound denizens
Of the shrouded city streets

Upon an adjacent roof across the alleyway
I mirror her form, appearing as another
Stone like guardian of the eves

Yet our watchful eyes are not those of protectors
We are hunters, surveyors and destroyers
Of the creature called man

Oh, the wicked games that time doth play
On one who’s lived so many days
My childhood has become long forgotten

Our current wait concerns us naught
For time has little meaning to us anymore
We’re bound no longer by its constraints, save one

We must seek shelter ‘ere the first ray
Of the new days sun befalls upon us
Evil thrives in darkness and is destroyed by light

We have no concern of that at this moment
Whereas the night sky has just birthed the moon
And the terror that will be us ~ quite soon

When a stooped figure staggers by below muttering curses
Of watered ale and the unfair practices of a local proprietor
Our patience seems justly rewarded

Twice, does he stumble and nearly fall
Before pausing to lean against the wall
Directly beneath me

My eyes are mesmerized by her as she moves
Her graceful motion would have bestilled my heart
Had I one

Gauging the distance, as would a cat, she pauses
A sudden short preparatory bounce
And she drops down three floors to the earth below

Inebriated eyes attempt to focus on the sound
They are only able to discern her form
As it rises through the mist

He mumbles apologies at not having seen her prior
Hoping his disorderly outburst was not the source
Of her disturbance

With a singsong voice she settles and reassures him
Explaining that the streets had done much to confuse her
Asking if he could help her find her way

Imbued with confidence and emboldened by spirits
He makes the fatal mistake of draping an arm
Across the shoulders of death

Ivy enjoys the hunt and is a connoisseur of games
She enjoys toying with her conquests
Prior to condemnation of their souls

She has also developed a taste for those of consumption
For the blood carries the alcohol
And she thrills at the lingering effects

However, unless she asks
And she asks only of me
My Ivy will not be touched

In the length of time it takes his heart to beat twice
She has bared her teeth
And deprived him of his larynx

As his body topples, concealed by the smoke like mantle
She drops down upon him to feed
My senses register the odor of fresh, warm blood

I allow her the certainty that she will remain undisturbed
By maintaining my post, for in short order
She will return the service

~ My hunger will soon be sated ~

 

[twistedangel]

Some people say they want to die,

They think it would be better.

When I here these words they say,

My blood grows even redder.

They don't even know what it's like,

No one does in all mankind.

I know and I've found,

What many has seeked to find.

I know what death feels like,

I know that death is real.

It is very hard to explain,

I can't discribe death's feel.

I know what happen after death,

I won't tell you it's dread.

Which is why the reason I choose to die,

With these secrets in my head.

If I told you or any one,

What happens when you die.

You would either think I"m crazy,

Or do nothing but cry.

It is such a bade time,

As I hold this knife.

But if I told someone,

It would ruin all your lives.

I won't give you a hint,

Or a single clue.

I won't tell you if it's good or bad,

Or when it will happen to you.

I do know when death is near,

I know on who it stalks.

I fear the worst for that person,

But on death I'll never talk.

I hate to know who will die,

I will feel all their pain.

Then when their time is over,

My tears fall like rain.

I will cry when I'm happy,

I will cry when I'm asleep.

I'll even cry when I'm having fun,

I know the shadow of death will creep.

Now this poem will go on forever,

I will always have my breath.

For I will always be alive,

As long as there is death.

 

[twistedangel]

sorry just started writting n i couldnt stop..

 

[twistedangel]

anyways..still pretty bummed out..
still hoping ...

 

[twistedangel]

I hear the haunting cry,
of the darkness within me.
The moaning gets louder as the darkness takes over,
the pain will never let me be.

Crumpling in the leaves, is all that is to be heard
closer comes the growls, of hell below.
The footsteps sound larger, much closer now,
They’ve come to take over me, take over my soul.

The dark shadows of the devils hounds
lurk around the trees so high,
form the corner of my eye I see a hound,
They can sense fear in anybody, their nose will never lie.

Closer comes the darkened hound.
Its teeth yellow with decay,
its body torn.
I turn around quickly, but it’s too late, there’s nothing left to say.

The decayed forms jolt,
towards my body they come,
they smell the fear upon my soul,
the pain will soon leave my body, in hell it will show.

 

[twistedangel]

Meet me on the other side
From which I toppled from
Decide where we shall topple next
Fix ourselves in where I become

Magic feelings in my air
Float right through my eyes
Blue unto blue, you tainted me
Painted with nothing but lies

Smile on, from the completely different side
The only way I shall ever come back
Stuck inside a loneliness with the comfort of you
Racked upon emptiness, stuck on a rack

You won't stand next to loneliness
Even as I yell and scream in despair
It's like you're oblivious to emptiness
And it's like you don't see me yelling there

But, feel as I do
And always seem as it will
Right up off the street tonight

 

[twistedangel]

Your voice cuts into me
So coldly my ears bleed
And I can feel you by my side

Now nothing’s left of me
Still you won’t set me free
Dug your knife deeper while I cried

Take what you want from me
I only wish to sleep
Lie to me till I cannot see

Never awaken me
I’m gone now, let me be
Find some place else to plant your seed

Come lay beside of me
And listen to me speak
My secrets creep into your eyes

I’ll bind you here to me
Where you can never leave
Till all the hope left in you dies

 

[twistedangel]

Drained the strength from deep within
In the stillness of the darkness
I keep awake with the light u shone upon my skin
Promise you will stay with me forever
Stay my night sky
Ill always stay true to you
Ill always be right beside you
As we lay there in company of each other
So much has passed between us
You are my everything
I’d never thought I would say that
I’d never thought ill be with you
Give me a reason to stay within sight
The moonlight even in death looks so pure
Save me from myself
They don’t know how you’ve helped me
The softly spoken words
Keeps me awake in the silent nights
You wrap yourself inside of me
Secure you stay within
The heart you conceal the soul you heal
Your presence leaves lingers through the days
Screams I hear constantly in my head
My night sky I am bound to you