Menu
Home
Post Something
Forums
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
News & Features
The Marketplace
Cars for Sale
Engine and Performance
Chassis and Wheels
Exterior and Body
Interior and Cockpit
ICE - In Car Entertainment
Car Shops and Services
Toys and Wares
All Other Stuff
Jobs and Vacancies
Looking For
Members
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Reply to thread
See what others are reading now! Try Forums >
Current Activity
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
Jokes Archieve - Text Based
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Message
<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 2624143" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbour owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up.What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?", asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1,000 he owes you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500!" replied the man. "Precisely, that's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need," said the lawyer.</p><p></p><p></p><p>The professor of a Contract Law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?" The student replied, "Here's an orange." The professor was outraged."No! No! Think like a lawyer!" The student then replied, "Ok. I will tell him - "I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before and hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding.</p><p></p><p></p><p>A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognised the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98." A few days later the butcher received a cheque in the mail for for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read : 'Legal Consultation Service: $150.</p><p></p><p></p><p>The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with Honours, and then went home to join his father's legal firm. At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said, "Father, you know what, in one day I managed to solve the accident case that you've been working on for 10 years!" His father responded : " You idiot, we lived on the funding of that case for 10 years!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 2624143, member: 14320"] A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbour owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up.What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?", asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1,000 he owes you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500!" replied the man. "Precisely, that's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need," said the lawyer. The professor of a Contract Law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?" The student replied, "Here's an orange." The professor was outraged."No! No! Think like a lawyer!" The student then replied, "Ok. I will tell him - "I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before and hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding. A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognised the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98." A few days later the butcher received a cheque in the mail for for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read : 'Legal Consultation Service: $150. The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with Honours, and then went home to join his father's legal firm. At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said, "Father, you know what, in one day I managed to solve the accident case that you've been working on for 10 years!" His father responded : " You idiot, we lived on the funding of that case for 10 years!" [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
The Marketplace Latest
Proton Preve R3 body kit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Perodua Ativa gear up body kit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F10 Mperformance front skirt lip
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Honda Civic FC fk7si front bumper set
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
brake caliper spray
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3 bodykit/diffuser set
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Perodua Axia Rahmah bodykit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Nissan Almera Tomei body kit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
original rare Black Racing Pro N1 16x6.5jj offset...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
original rare Rays Volk Racing TE37SL Black Edition...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
Posts refresh every 5 minutes
Need some opinion on these few rim.
I was thinking to upgrade to 16'' rim,have a few choice that is SSR type c,SSR type f and famous CE28N...dono which one to choose...
Motor Sport Japan...the Rally Masters!
http://www.nihoncar.com/en/news_pics/597/news.jpg
More photos from the Motor Sport Japan 2007, this time focused on the Rally Masters.For about half an hour, the attendance had the chance to witness some of the very...
Gathering on 3rd June 2006
Firstly would like to thanks everyone for coming. Especially Lumix, Martin & partner who came all the way from up north.
Although its a light gathering but 9 altezza turn out.
Martin pls post a few pics. thanks
Recent Posts
Darker Design : Mercedes-Benz Launches GLA Nightfall Edition in Malaysia
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Honda Malaysia Doubles Down on Hybrids: New CR-V Launches with Dual e:HEV...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
BateriHub Reaches 200-Store Milestone, Becomes Malaysia’s Largest...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Been stalking for 3 years edy
Started by
dheepadarshan95
Introduction and Newbies
Recommendation: Turbocharger for 4B11 N.A engine
Started by
Mitevo7
Car Modification
Search
Online now
Enjoying Zerotohundred?
Log-in
for an ad-less experience
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
Jokes Archieve - Text Based