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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4475685" data-attributes="member: 14320">Men - You Know You're Getting Old When - You sit on the toilet for 2 hours and you can't shitor jackoff - Most of the spam email you get is about cremation services - Your dick is getting smaller and your balls are fillingup your pants - Piss stains are outnumbering cum stains in your underwear - Your belt level is above your tits- You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.- Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.- Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.- I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.- I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over.- I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.- I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.- I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.- I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.- I'm the life of the party... even when it lasts 'till 8pm.- I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.RetirementMy nookie days are over, my pilot light is out.What used to be my sex appeal, is now my water spout.Time was when, of its own accords, from my trousers it would spring.but now I have a full time job, just to find the blasted thing.It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave.For every single morning, it would stand and watch me shave.But now as old age approaches, it sure gives me the blues.To see it hang its withered head, and watch me tie my shoes.</blockquote>

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