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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4445474" data-attributes="member: 14320">Welfare OfficeA man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to thecounter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really ratherfind a job,"The person behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing.We just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants achauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drivearound a big black Mercedes, and the suits, shirts, and ties areprovided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also beprovided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on heroverseas holidays trips.The salary package is $200,000 a year!"The man said, "You're bullshitting me man!"The clerk behind the counter said, "Yeah, well, you started it."*****If size doesn't matter, how come my girlfriends vibrator isn't threeinches long and crooked?*****I don't know whats happening in this country. You've got schoolchildren dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children.Its a nightmare ... you just don't know whether to carry sweets or money!*****A man is lying on the beach, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a capover his dick. An ugly woman is passing and remarks 'if you were agentleman, you would lift your hat for a lady ...'He replies 'If you were any sort of lady, the hat would lift itself!'*****A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquiredtwo new dogs, and asked her what their names were.The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolexand one was named Timex.Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"Whereupon the blonde responded, "What else you gonna name watch dogs?"</blockquote>