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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4444822" data-attributes="member: 14320">100 Ways For A Man To Keep His Testosterone Flowing(Part One,)1: Don't call, ever.2: If you like a girl, don't tell her. It's more fun to let her figureit out by herself.3: Lie.4: Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic andunoriginal, such as "spike"6: Here's a good pickup line, "My girlfriend's pregnant, will you goout with me?8: Play with yourself. Talk about it.9: Be as ambiguous as possible. If you don't want to answer, anice grunt will do.10: Always remember: You are a man. Therefore, no matter what, itisn't your fault.11: Lie12: Girls find it attractive if a man has had more women than baths.13: Never ask for help. Even if you really, really need help- don't ask. People will think you have no penis.14: Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.15: Vanity is the most important trait for a man to have. Wheneveryou pass a reflective surface, check you hair, clothing, etc.16: If you don't like a girl, but can't think of a good enough reasonwhy,just come up with trite, meaningless explanations like, "I don't know.I just don't like her personality."17: If, GOD FORBID, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use onlymonosyllabic words and noises. Bodily noises are permissible.18: TWO WORDS: Hack and spit.19: Everyone finds a man more attractive if he can write his name inurine.20: One sure way to make a girl like you is to go after her best friend.She will then see what she's missing and love you for not giving upon her.21: Tell her you will call. Then, refer back to rule #1.22: Say things like "Wha...?"23: Don't wear matching clothes. People will think your girlfriendpicked it out, and it will cramp your style on picking up chicks.24: Lie.25: Deny everything. Everything.26: Good break up line, "It's not you, it's me." (ripped off fromGeorge Castanza)27: If you like a girl, tell all your female friends about her. Becauseif any of your female friends like you, they'll really want to know.28: Don't have a clue.29: If you get a clue, pretend you didn't and disregard it.30: No means yes.31: Yes means no.32: If you don't get sex whenever you want, your balls will shrivel.Enforce this rule at all times.33: If anyone asks, you have had sex in all possible positions andlocations. Improvise.34: Much like an orgasm signifies the end of a sexual peak, sex oftensignifies the end of a relationship.35: Feelings? What feelings?36: Tell this to your girl before you have sex, "Don't worry. If youdon't have an orgasm, you won't get pregnant."37: Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you atanything, either pretend it's not true or kick some ass.38: Lie I tell you!!39: DO NOT make decisions about relationships. If you are backed intoa corner and must make a decision, stall. If you still must come upwith an answer, leave yourself a loophole for escape. Example:Question: "Honey, will you take me out for a romantic dinner?"Answer: "Yes, if you can guess how many sperm I produce each day."40: Every sentence that anyone says can be contorted to have sexualmeaning. Do so.41: At any given opportunity, point out how things look like variousgenitalia. If, by chance, you have Play-Doh, make sure you make anexact replica of your penis. Measure to make sure it's right.42: Lie.43: "Love" is not in your vocabulary. don't even think about saying it. 44: A general rule: If whatever you're doing does not satisfy youcompletely in 5 minutes, it's really not worth it.45: Diss your girlfriend. Beg and plead until you get her back. Diss her again. Repeat cycle.46: Lie.47: ALWAYS apologize. NEVER mean it.48: If you hurt someone, pretend you care. Don't.49: Try to have a good memory, but it's OK if you forget trivial things. You know, like your girlfriend's b-day and eye color.50: Ignorance solves problems. If you can't see them, they can't seeyou.</blockquote>

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