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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4443206" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong>New One Liners!</strong></p><p></p><p>Q: Did you hear about the new deodorant called Umpire?</p><p>A: It's for foul balls.</p><p>Q: Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?</p><p>A: So no one confuses them with feminists.</p><p>Q: What is the difference between American sewers and Mexican sewers?</p><p>A: Mexican sewers have diving boards!</p><p>Q: What do you get when you cross LSD with birth control?</p><p>A: A trip without the kids</p><p>Q: What's the definition of a virgin?</p><p>A: An ugly second grader.</p><p>Q: Did you hear about the new Vietnamese cookbook?</p><p>A: 100 ways to wok your dog.</p><p>Q: Why did god create alcohol?</p><p>A: So ugly people could get laid too.</p><p>Q: What is the difference between a fag and a freezer.</p><p>A: The freezer don't fart when you take the meat out!</p><p>Q: Why do women have periods?</p><p>A: Because they deserve them.</p><p>Q: Why does everyone want to work at the impotency clinic?</p><p>A: It's a soft job.</p><p>Q: What's the difference between wives and secretaries?</p><p>A: Secretaries get a little behind at work, wives get a big behind at home.</p><p>Q: Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake?</p><p>A: It did $100 million worth of improvements.</p><p>Q: What did God say after creating man?</p><p>A: "I can do so much better."</p><p>Q: What did he say after he created woman?</p><p>A: "Guess I was wrong!"</p><p>Q: What's worse than your best friend telling you that he's a faggot?</p><p>A: When he tells you that he fucked you that night you passed out drunk on his couch!</p><p>Q: What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders?</p><p>A: A scrotum pole!</p><p>Q: Why don't women have brains?</p><p>A: They don't have a cock to keep them in!</p><p>Q: How do you get four faggots to share a barstool?</p><p>A: Turn it upside down!</p><p>Q: What's the most amazing thing about AIDS?</p><p>A: It can turn a fruit into a vegetable!</p><p>Q: What did the Mexican do with his first 50 cent piece?</p><p>A: He married her.</p><p>Q: Why do men die before their wives?</p><p>A: They want to.</p><p>Q: What do you call a Muslim roofing contractor?</p><p>A: Shiite on a shingle.</p><p>Q: Why don't employers give blondes coffee breaks?</p><p>A: It takes too long to re train them.</p><p>Q: What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand?</p><p>A: You can't gargle sand!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4443206, member: 14320"] [B]New One Liners![/B] Q: Did you hear about the new deodorant called Umpire? A: It's for foul balls. Q: Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs? A: So no one confuses them with feminists. Q: What is the difference between American sewers and Mexican sewers? A: Mexican sewers have diving boards! Q: What do you get when you cross LSD with birth control? A: A trip without the kids Q: What's the definition of a virgin? A: An ugly second grader. Q: Did you hear about the new Vietnamese cookbook? A: 100 ways to wok your dog. Q: Why did god create alcohol? A: So ugly people could get laid too. Q: What is the difference between a fag and a freezer. A: The freezer don't fart when you take the meat out! Q: Why do women have periods? A: Because they deserve them. Q: Why does everyone want to work at the impotency clinic? A: It's a soft job. Q: What's the difference between wives and secretaries? A: Secretaries get a little behind at work, wives get a big behind at home. Q: Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake? A: It did $100 million worth of improvements. Q: What did God say after creating man? A: "I can do so much better." Q: What did he say after he created woman? A: "Guess I was wrong!" Q: What's worse than your best friend telling you that he's a faggot? A: When he tells you that he fucked you that night you passed out drunk on his couch! Q: What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? A: A scrotum pole! Q: Why don't women have brains? A: They don't have a cock to keep them in! Q: How do you get four faggots to share a barstool? A: Turn it upside down! Q: What's the most amazing thing about AIDS? A: It can turn a fruit into a vegetable! Q: What did the Mexican do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He married her. Q: Why do men die before their wives? A: They want to. Q: What do you call a Muslim roofing contractor? A: Shiite on a shingle. Q: Why don't employers give blondes coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to re train them. Q: What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand? A: You can't gargle sand! [/QUOTE]
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