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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4416711" data-attributes="member: 14320">Filthy Funny Sexual PositionsComet Trail: After shooting your wad in some ho's mouth, slap her briskly across the cheek. If it's a clear, starry night, and the crack is brisk enough, a long strand of man sherbet should streak up her cheek and into her hair, resembling a tail of a comet. Making her sit on a telescope during the deed is only intended for the most wily astronomer.Jackhammer: You start doing a girl from behind, and you quickly pull out and put it in her ass, then pull out and put in back into her pussy. Repeat that until she looses all control over her body and her arms collapse, then pull out and spunk in her hair.Paul Bunyan Log Slam: Get a girl to shit for you, and when the turtle head starts to show, slam your dick right in to the log. Make sure you call her "Babe" sometime during the lumberjack session to complete the Paul Bunyan effect.Double Fishhook: Do the girl doggy style, and reach around with your index fingers slightly bent in the shape of a fishhook and stick the both in her mouth and grab her cheeks and pull back as hard as you can.Northwave Sanchez: Some of you might know this as "Indian War paint", but I assure you it is the Northwave Sanchez. You start ramming the bitch from behind, and you jackhammer her once, then turn her around, and give her some nice skid marks right under her eyes. That's the Sanchez the Northwave way.Bagpipe: Now this one is a little confusing so bare with me if you?re a little slow in the head. While getting some dome, the girl puts her left hand under one nut from the front, wraps her right arm around your upper thigh putting her hand through your legs and finally placing her hand under your other nut. Now that she is in the position to play, and the dick piece is firmly set in her mouth, she proceeds to juggle both your balls and rub your choda as she sucks you off. I know there?s a lot going on here, that?s why it kinda like playing the bagpipes. If you can do this ladies, I give you kudos.Lochness Monster: You take home the bar star you've been buying drinks for all night. You get in the car for the drive home and the wench starts to give you road head. When she comes up for air, you realize she's an ugly monster with three humps and a fucked-up, long neck. You bust in its face, step on the gas, and push it out of the car. Now it's time to call the Enquirer and report your sighting.</blockquote>

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