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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4385904" data-attributes="member: 14320">Acronyms Involving The F WordFIGMO - fuck it, got my ordersFUBAB - fucked up beyond all beliefFUBAR - fucked up beyond all recognition/repairFUMTU - fucked up more than usualSNAFU - situation normal, all fucked upTARFU - things are really fucked upJANFU - joint army-navy fuckup.GFU - general fuck-upSAMFU - self-adjusting military fuck-upSAPFU - surpassing all previous fuck-upsSUSFU - situation unchanged, still fucked-upWOFTAM - Waste Of Fucking Time And MoneyRTFM - Read the Fucking Manual ==================================================================================This guy is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City and he runs into a hooker.He says, "How much?"She says, "Twenty bucks."He says, "All right."They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her.The next night, he runs into the same hooker. They go under the boardwalk, only this time while he's banging her, she blasts two incredible farts. When they get done, he hands her twenty-FIVE dollars.She says, "What the extra five?"He says, "That's for blowing the sand off my balls."==================================================================================Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into myown pants.What's a wiener?The first runner to cross the finish line in a Mexican race!Why is sex so much like drugs?Because the quality depends on the pusher.==================================================================================This guys eating this girl out and stops doing it for a second and says "Damn this pussy's big." "Damn this pussy's big"She looks at him and says "I know but why did you say it twice?"Dude says, "I didn't" RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a littlebeverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go onFridays.2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is inTexas.3. I take my wife everywhere..... but she keeps finding her way back.4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary."Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested thekitchen.5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric breadmaker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!"... So I bought her an electric chair.7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was waterin the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud felloff.9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for thegarbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupther.13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on theTV?" ... I said "Dust!"Can't you just hear him say all of these?......... This is the good olddays when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........just clean and simple fun!</blockquote>

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