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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4374478" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Firehouse System </span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man who worked for the fire department came home from work one day</p><p>and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the</p><p>firehouse.</p><p>Bell #1 rings, and we all put our jackets on. </p><p>Bell #2 rings, and we</p><p>all slide down the pole. </p><p>Bell #3 rings, and we are on the truck and ready to go!"</p><p>"So," he continues, "From now on, we're going to run this house the</p><p>same way.</p><p>When I say Bell #1, I want</p><p>you to strip naked. </p><p>When I say Bell #2, I want you to jump into bed</p><p>and when I say Bell #3, we're going to make love all night!" </p><p>The wife</p><p>is agreeable with this arrangement. The next night, he came home from</p><p>work and yelled,</p><p>"Bell #1!" The wife took off all her clothes.</p><p>"Bell #2!".....The wife jumped into bed.</p><p>"Bell #3!"..... They began passionate loving...</p><p>After two minutes, the wife yelled, "Bell #4!".....</p><p>The husband asked "What the hell is Bell #4?"</p><p>"MORE HOSE!" she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE!"</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">A blonde's Year in Review</span></strong></p><p></p><p>January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.</p><p></p><p>February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...Helllloooo!!!..bottles won't fit in the typewriter!</p><p></p><p>March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"</p><p></p><p>April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!</p><p></p><p>May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!</p><p>June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.</p><p></p><p>July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!</p><p></p><p>August - Got locked out of my Jeep in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.</p><p></p><p>September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???</p><p></p><p>October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.</p><p></p><p>November - Baked turkey for 4 and a half days - instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!</p><p></p><p>December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!</p><p>What a year!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4374478, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Firehouse System [/COLOR][/B] A man who worked for the fire department came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the firehouse. Bell #1 rings, and we all put our jackets on. Bell #2 rings, and we all slide down the pole. Bell #3 rings, and we are on the truck and ready to go!" "So," he continues, "From now on, we're going to run this house the same way. When I say Bell #1, I want you to strip naked. When I say Bell #2, I want you to jump into bed and when I say Bell #3, we're going to make love all night!" The wife is agreeable with this arrangement. The next night, he came home from work and yelled, "Bell #1!" The wife took off all her clothes. "Bell #2!".....The wife jumped into bed. "Bell #3!"..... They began passionate loving... After two minutes, the wife yelled, "Bell #4!"..... The husband asked "What the hell is Bell #4?" "MORE HOSE!" she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE!" [B][COLOR="Teal"]A blonde's Year in Review[/COLOR][/B] January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...Helllloooo!!!..bottles won't fit in the typewriter! March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August - Got locked out of my Jeep in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open. September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it??? October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 and a half days - instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108! December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!! What a year!! [/QUOTE]
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