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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4374478" data-attributes="member: 14320">Firehouse System A man who worked for the fire department came home from work one dayand told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at thefirehouse.Bell #1 rings, and we all put our jackets on. Bell #2 rings, and weall slide down the pole. Bell #3 rings, and we are on the truck and ready to go!""So," he continues, "From now on, we're going to run this house thesame way.When I say Bell #1, I wantyou to strip naked. When I say Bell #2, I want you to jump into bedand when I say Bell #3, we're going to make love all night!" The wifeis agreeable with this arrangement. The next night, he came home fromwork and yelled,"Bell #1!" The wife took off all her clothes."Bell #2!".....The wife jumped into bed."Bell #3!"..... They began passionate loving...After two minutes, the wife yelled, "Bell #4!".....The husband asked "What the hell is Bell #4?""MORE HOSE!" she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE!"A blonde's Year in ReviewJanuary - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...Helllloooo!!!..bottles won't fit in the typewriter!March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!August - Got locked out of my Jeep in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.November - Baked turkey for 4 and a half days - instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!What a year!!</blockquote>

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