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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4348676" data-attributes="member: 14320">No EarsLittle Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby.Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.When theyarrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny'sfamily to come over and see their new baby.Little Johnny's parentswere very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about thebaby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnnybefore going to the neighbors.He said, "Now, son...that poor babywas born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behaviorand not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spankyour butt when we get back home.""I promise not to mention his earsat all," said Little Johnny.At the neighbor's home, Little Johnnyleaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at it'smother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!"The mother,whohad braced herself for Johnny's comment, was pleasantly surprisedand said,"Thank you very much, Little Johnny."He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect littlefeet.Why, just look at his pretty little eyes! Did his doctor say he cansee good?" The mother, a bit bewildered, hesitantly replies "Why,yes...his doctor said he has 20/20 vision, why do you ask?"Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a good thing, cause he'd be fu***edup if he needed to wear glasses!"-=-=-=-=-=A woman woke up one hot sunny day and complained to her husband, "I can't stand wearing clothes on a day like this. What do you think the neighbors would do if I worked in the garden nude?""They would say," replied the husband, "That I married you for your money!"-=-=-=-=-=Why should you never buy your wife a watch?Because there is a clock on the cooker!Have you heard about the new device that makes your car run 95% quieter?Yeah, it fits right over her mouth!</blockquote>