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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4325749" data-attributes="member: 14320">A young guy goes into a bar and watches two attractive girls for a while before going up and offering to buy them a drink. One of them glances at him and says "Don’t bother - we’re lesbians".He says "OK, I admit I don’t know much - what’s a lesbian?""I’ll keep it really simple", one says "We’d rather eat pussy than suck cock""Barman" he shouts, "Drinks for us three lesbians". 77777Three old men were sitting around talking about who had the worst health problems. The seventy-year old said, "have I got a problem. Every morning I get up at 7:30 and have to take a piss but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour cause my pee barely trickles out.""Heck, that's nothing," said the eighty-year old. "Every morning at 8:30 I have to take a shit, but I have to sit on the can for hours because of my constipation. It's terrible."You think you've got problems," said the Ninety-year old. Every morning at 7:30 I piss like a racehorse, and at 8:30 I shit like a pig. The trouble with me is that I don't wake up until 11:30.77777Q: What's the best way to give your dog a bone?A: Tickle his balls! 77777The husband wanted to have sex with his wife, but he hated the "chore" ofeating her out. He knew he had to if he was to get any nookie. He startsto perform on her, and just as he darts his tongue inside her, she letsout a big fart. He stops what he is doing, looks up at her and says,"Ahhh, sweetheart, thanks for the breath of fresh air!"77777A girl and a boy were at the back of the cinema, kissing passionately.When they come up for air, the boy says, "I really love kissing you, but do you mind not passing me your chewing gum."The girl replies, "It's not chewing gum, I've got bronchitis".77777Two men are on opposite sides of the Earth. One is walking a tightrope.The other is getting a blowjob from a 90 year old woman.Both get the exact same thought at the exact same time. What is that thought?DONT LOOK DOWN!!!</blockquote>

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